I Have Nothing
by DarkWriterXX94
Summary: Previously entitled The Breakup. Maura woke up the morning of her wedding to see Tommy asleep next to her. She never knew what happened that night and regrets lying to Jane about it. It's now 2 years later and one divorce later that Maura realizes that she's still deeply in love with Jane. Eventual Rizzles but warning it isn't for a while. Jane/OC Maura/Jane Maura/Tommy
1. Confessions

The Breakup

_Jane walked into the kitchen carrying her newborn son, William, in her arms. "Look, here goes mommy." She cooed to the infant as she walked over to where Maura stood at the sink. Maura looked up, startled at Jane's presence. "Hey babe" she leaned over giving Maura a quick peck on the lips. _

"_Why are you in here?" _

_Maura had in fact disappeared into the house and failed to return for over twenty minutes. _

"_I was just a little dizzy from all of the noise."_

"_Do you want me to take you home?" Maura shook her head no._

"_No, I'll be okay; I just need some time alone." Jane reached out to her wife rubbing her back reassuringly. Jane grew concerned at feeling her wife tense at her touch but before she could question it, she looked up to where Maura's attention was directed and saw her brother standing at the door. _

"_Hey, Wassup sis…Maura" Tommy walked over to the two looking down at his nephew who was asleep in Jane's arms. _

"_How is he?" he asked looking briefly over Maura._

"_Surprisingly, well behaved. He doesn't cry that much." Jane explained while Maura looked away trying not to look at the younger Rizzoli. Hearing Angela calling for her, Jane excused herself, handing William over to Maura. Tommy and Maura remained quiet long after Jane had left. Not being able to stand the tension between them, Maura walked away to go place William in his bassinet in his bedroom. Unbeknownst to her, Tommy followed behind her. _

"_Maura, you can't ignore me, or what happened." Tommy whispered._

"_Well I can try. What happened between us should have never happened and I would like for it to remain between us." _

"_And you don't think I do? I know if Jane were to find out what happened, she would be devastated, but I cannot sit idly by and watch as you love someone who isn't me. I'll give you time to think Maura, but I can't and I won't wait for long." He reached out to the blonde placing a light kiss on her cheek before leaving her there in silence. As he exited the door, he failed to notice his sister standing hidden, in the hallway closet. Jane waited for Maura to leave the infant's room, closing the door behind her and walk into their bedroom. Jane retreated from her hiding place and walked into the bedroom. _

_At hearing the door open Maura looked up and could see her wife in the reflection of the mirror she stood in front of. She immediately wiped away the tears in her eyes and tried to cover up her emotional turmoil. _

"_Hey, honey, can you just give me a min-"_

"_Is there something you want to tell me?" _

_At first Maura thinks about denying it but decides against it when she sees how angry the detective is. _

"_Jane, I swear, I don't want to be with you brother. I love you. " She cried out, crawling across the bed to grab hold of the detectives hand who in turn snatched them away._

"_Did you sleep with him?"_

"_What?"_

"_Did you have sex with my brother?"_

"…"

"_Did you fuck him!"_

"_Yes." Maura whispered looking down into her hands in shame as tears fell. _

"_When?"_

"_When we were in Santorini."_

"_The night before our wedding?" Jane was hysterical at this point. She couldn't help crying at the pain she was felt at her heart breaking in two. _

_Jane turned , storming out the room_

"_Jane, where are you going?" Maura asked following her out the house. Jane crossed the backyard to where Tommy stood talking to their mother. She grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him on his heels. Before he could react, her fist connected with his lower jaw. He fell to the ground immediately. She went to jump on him but her father grabbed her before she could. _

"_What the hell Jane?" Tommy asked holding his bloody jaw. _

"_Jane Clementine Rizzoli!"_

"_That fucker slept with my wife."_

_Angela turns towards Maura, "Please tell me that's not true." Maura looks at her mother in law apologetically. Before she can speak, Jane storms past her and Maura runs after her. _

_Jane walked into William's room, grabbing several bottles and diapers and placing them into his diaper bag. She gently but quickly picks up her son and places him into his car seat. She grabs the diaper bag, lifting the car seat and walks out the house. Maura runs into the house, looking out the window, she sees Jane opening the driver seat door with William secured in the backseat. She runs outside with Tommy, Angela and Frankie not far behind. She runs up to the car banging on the door windows crying hysterically. _

"_Jane please, I swear nothing else happened! It was a onetime thing that should have never happened. I only want to be with you." _

_Jane opened the door, stepping out once again. Jane shook her head at the words Maura spoke. She lifted her hand, sliding the wedding band off of the finger it had rested on for two years and gave it to Maura. _

"_I can't, I trusted you and you went and did that, the day before I gave my heart to you forever. I love you so much Maura and maybe one day I can forgive you for this but I don't know when." She gets back into the car, shutting the door and pulling off._

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_**Ok, so here's the deal. This is a flashback as a part of the idea I have. I want this to be a full story but I'm not sure if I want it to include what happened before this scene with Maura and Tommy sleeping together or just keep this as a flashback and write what happens after this. Review and let me know what you want. Majority will win. Also, if anyone is willing to be my writing partner on this please message me and let me know. **_


	2. I Can't Forget

_**Alright, so many of you wanted me to continue with what happens next and not before the flashback so I will do that. I'm really going to try my hardest to finish this story before I go back to school because it is my senior year and things will get crazy in September.**_

* * *

"Frankie, please just tell me where she is. I can't apologize if I can't find her."

Frankie looked at his soon to be ex sister-in-law in disgust. "You think a simple apology is going to be enough? You broke my sister's heart, so in my mind you are dead." He walked out the room. Maura looked to Angela for help but she shook her head, she wasn't going to choose between her children. Maura sat on the couch,

"I never wanted it to happen this way, Angela. I swear, I never wanted to hurt your daughter."

Angela placed a hand on Maura's,

"I know dear, but what's hurting her most is that it was with Tommy."

"Do you think she will want to leave me?" before Angela could tell Maura what she was truly thinking the front door opened. It was Jane, carrying their son, Maura jumps up immediately.

"Jane, please, just let me explain. " Jane ignored Maura, walking over to her mother, placing the little boy lightly in her arms. Angela was thankful for the distraction.

Jane turned back to her crying wife, "Is he the father?"

"Who, Tommy? No." Jane studied Maura's eyes for any sign of dishonesty and when she saw none, she continued.

"I want a divorce-"

"Jane, don't you think that's a bit much? You haven't even given her a chance to explain." Angela asks, standing up. Maura was grateful that at least someone was on her side.

Frankie walks back into the room,

"She had a chance to explain in the two years she kept it a secret from Janie." Angela turned towards her youngest son.

"Frankie, you stay out of this. Jane, Maura, we'll give you some time alone. I'll take these two with me back to the guesthouse." She tightened the blanket around William and walked out the house, with Frankie following. He gave Jane a hug telling her he'll be next door if she needs him. He angrily glares at Maura before closing the door to the house.

"Do you have feelings for my brother?" Maura looked down at the ground, before whispering

"I don't know." The room is silent with Maura refusing to look up at Jane. She fumbles with her hands and finally looks up when she hears sobbing. Jane stands across the room, wiping at her eyes with the back of her sleeves as she cries, not caring that Maura is seeing how broken she is. Maura will slowly approach Jane, wrapping her arms around her, allowing her to cry into her shoulder. Jane will try and push her away but Maura won't lessen her grip.

"I hate you Maura, I hate you so much" she cried into her shoulder. Her confession causes Maura to break down even more.

"Jane, I may have feelings for Tommy, but I love _you_. I want to spend the rest of my life with _you_." Jane clung to Maura's shirt, bawling the material into her fists, holding Maura to her as she cried even harder. Maura held her as she cried while they embraced each other. After a minute Jane looks up, looking into Maura eyes, she leans down slowly and kisses her, both women's tears mixing.

Maura hooked a finger in one of Jane's belt loops and pulled the detective towards her. Jane's hands went into Maura's golden locks pulling her closer as their kiss intensified. Maura freed the leather from its clasp on Jane's belt, popping the button on her jeans as Jane led her backwards down the hall to their bedroom. She reached up, pulling Jane's shirt over her head, while Jane simultaneously, unzipped Maura's dress. She then proceeded to rip off Maura's bra not bothering with its clasp. By the time they reach the bedroom door both women are naked. Maura kicks open the door, flicking on the lights, illuminating the room with a dim glow.

She continued to walk backwards and the moment Maura felt her calves hit the bed she allowed herself to fall, bringing Jane down with her. She flipped Jane over, straddling her waist. Jane looks up into her wives eyes knowing that she could forgive Maura because she deeply loved her. Jane titled up and kissed Maura. She ran her tactile hands up Maura's back all the way north to her blonde hair and tangled her fingers into its mass. One of Maura's thighs pushed in between Jane's legs. It happened so quick the detective could only gasp a throaty huff that disappeared into the heat of their kiss. The embrace Maura had around Jane had expanded until one hand braced her hip and the other her shoulder blade. Maura broke their kiss, leaving Jane gasping and desperate. She straddled the brunette by her writing hips.

"Please, let me make it up to you." She whispered into the kiss, lacing her fingers with her wife's. She placed a light kiss on Jane's chest and licked a trail down to the brunette's pelvis. Maura paused, looking up and locked eyes with her lover.

"I want you so much" she whispered to her, and then lowered herself. Jane watched Maura face disappears between her hips. Her eyes rolled back as she sighed contently.

Pushing her tongue into Jane, Maura used her lips and nose to good effect in other areas. The brunette arched off the bed as Maura moved her tongue deeper. She could feel the beginning of Jane's orgasm. Moving a hand she pushed her forefinger into Jane, cupping her own jaw as she did and moved her mouth higher, not neglecting anything as she went.

She used her tongue to gently push back a tiny hood and the soft inner portion of her lower lip to caress the impossibly sensitive area. By now, Jane was shaking and when Maura sucked lightly, she came powerfully. Jane felt as if her own heart would stop.

When Jane was still, Maura moved up to straddle Jane once again, leaning down to kiss her deeply.

Jane sat up with Maura in her lap, their eyes locking, with Jane sliding her hand between them finding her way to the wet heat that she felt radiating from Maura's core. The moment Jane's fingers entered her, she began to rock her hips to encourage Jane to go further. Leaning back into Jane's other arm, a low moan escape Maura's mouth as she whispered, "Go deeper."

The need in Maura's voice tore Jane's breath from her body as she moved her hand with purpose.

Leaning forward, Jane kissed the valley between Maura's breasts before brushing her face against an erect nipple, moaning freely in response to the way that Maura moved against her hand, against her body. Maura pulled her face up kissing Jane, panting into the kiss as she ground down onto Jane's hand, sweat on their skin lubricating the movement further.

Shivers and tightening signified to Jane that Maura was close, very close. Jane focused her movements and kissed Maura in synch with them.

Seconds later Maura nearly crushed Jane against her as orgasm took her. Jane's body hummed in sympathy and she could feel her muscles clench in anticipation as she kissed Maura's throat and upper chest, calming the movements of her hand, but still maintaining the movements so as not to interrupt any of Maura's pleasure.

Finally coming down from the strong sensation of their orgasms, Jane's could no longer support herself and collapsed, falling backwards. Maura lied content on top of Jane. She kissed her shoulder whispering that she loved her. Jane tried to fight the tiredness that was overcoming her but was finding it very difficult to do so. Maura reached over and grabbed Jane's wedding band from the night stand and slid it back onto her wife's finger. Jane too tired to realize what Maura had done, left the ring and drifted off to sleep but not before mumbling, "...I'm still in love with you..." Maura allowed a small smile to dance across her face before she too drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Jane slowly got out of bed and got dressed. Despite the many times she wanted to return to the side of the blind she remembered why she couldn't. Finding a piece of paper, Jane sat in the chair next to the bed crying as she tried to think of what to write to Maura. She watched her sleep peacefully as she began to pour her heart onto paper.

_Maur,_

_I am sitting here thinking how much of our life we have spent together, although we've only been married for close to two years. But with all the time we've been together, you were mine long before I said "I do". That's a long time, a lifetime. I remember when I first saw you, so young and beautiful, but it was more than that, you had such a magnifying personality, and you were such a breath of fresh air to be around. I fell for you the moment I saw you, I had never had that feeling before, I was just too young, stupid, and shy to do anything about it. But I eventually took my chance and those first few months together may be the best of my life. When I would have to leave you each day, I couldn't wait to see you again, and I remember us spending every moment we could together. And to think when I couldn't love you anymore than I already did, you gave birth to my son. My love for you strengthened that day and I realized that it would kill me to not have you and Will in my life. But now I realize, as I'm sitting here watching you sleep, that it would kill me more knowing that you're love is divided between me and my brother. God, you have no idea how much I wanted to stay in bed and forget everything that has happened but I can't. When I close my eyes and try to forget I can't help but remember that you stood at the altar knowing that you may possibly be in love with Tommy. Knowing that you made vows that you had already broken before you even said them makes it hard for me to forget. _

_Maura, you are so dear to me. You have to believe that, I do still love you so much. I just can't be the person you need right now because I won't be able to forget what happened. So, as much as it hurts me, I'm leaving. I have to do it for both of us. I need to find myself and figure out my life again without you and you need time to consider your feelings for Tommy. Don't be afraid to pursue him because I would hate for our marriage to be ruined for nothing. But, hey, maybe it's my fault. Maybe I rushed things. Did I make you feel forced into marrying me so soon? _

_Maybe things would have been different if that had not been the case. Maybe had I given you the chance to think if marrying was the right thing to do, we could have avoided this? Avoided the tears, the heartbreak. If only we could turn back time._

_I'm going to take some time off and leave town. I'll be back but right now I just need to be alone. Frankie will know where I am and maybe he can bring Will to visit. _

_Remember that I love you Maura. I'm setting you free so that you can pursue you feelings for Tommy without the guilt of marriage holding you down and you can come to terms with what it is you truly want. I just can't promise that I will still be here when you find your answer.  
~~Jane_

She looked up to see the sun beginning to rise. She wiped at the remaining tears with her hands as she reached over and grabbed the divorce papers. She signed them, rolling them up and sliding her wedding band over it. She folded the letter writing Maura's name on the outside. She then placed the rolled up divorce papers onto the bedside table. Grabbing her suitcase and the letter, Jane leaned down slowly and placed a gentle kiss on Maura's forehead and before she could catch it, a tear slid down her cheek and fell onto Maura's cheek. The blonde only stirred but didn't wake.

"I love you." Jane whispered before walking out the room, shutting the light off. She placed the letter on the kitchen counter where Maura would see it. She walked over to the front door, opening it. She stepped outside, taking one last look at the place where she had proposed to Maura, before closing the door behind her.

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Don't forget to review.


	3. Once

_**This story is not really about Maura having an affair. Somehow it turned into that and that's not what I wanted. I added that part to give background information to the actual story which is what I will start in this chapter. I hope you guys like it and as always review. **_

_**Thanks to thedarkpassenger25 she really helped me with deciding which direction I wanted to take this story. **_

_**To newjustice: Jane didn't know whether or not to believe Maura when she said it only happened once which is why she questions the paternity of William. By questioning it she questions whether or not Maura was telling the truth.**_

_**Also, this is an eventual rizzles story but it won't happen right away. Like one reader said, I'm not writing this for Jane to quickly forgive Maura, she isn't for a while but if you stick it out to the end, you'll get what you want.**_

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18 months later

"Well, I can't do it. I took off work last week when he had a fever." Maura sat sitting with the detective at her desk while they tried to figure out who would take William to his upcoming doctor's appointment. Usually Jane could hold her own in any argument with Maura but today she was in a good mood and acquiesced to Maura.

"Alright, I will take him but I guess I'll have to reschedule Frost's lessons." Jane pointed out, reaching for her phone to set a calendar reminder for the appointment.

"Lessons for what?"

"Oh, he just wanted me to teach him how to give a proper lap dance." Jane explained trying to contain her laughter at the face that Maura made.

"Really?"

"No, Maura. I'm kidding" Maura rolled her eyes at the detective trying to not to smile.

"Just give up Maur, I'm hilarious and you know you want to laugh." Maura shook her head, covering her face with her hands. She was glad to have her friend back. She missed Jane and her sarcasm and her jokes.

After Jane returned and got over the initial pain of the divorce, both women realized that it would be better if they got along for William's sake. Soon enough, as months passed the two fell into the easy nature of the strong friendship they had before.

She looked up to the detective and behind her she could see the detective's girlfriend, Parker, approaching.

"Hey Maura." The blonde waved, leaning down to kiss Jane.

"Hey, babe. It's lunch time already?" Parker looked down at her nodding with amusement.

Jane turned towards Maura, apologetically.

"Sorry I have to go Maura, we have plans for lunch." She stood up, grabbing her jacket.

"But hey, you can come if you want. You don't mind do you, babe?" she asked turning towards Parker.

"No, it's ok. I don't want to impose; besides I have a salad downstairs in the refrigerator."

Jane cringed at the mention of the refrigerator, "Is it the same one you store body parts in?"

"Jane, cold air is cold air." Jane looked at Maura trying to figure out why she didn't want to go out with them but before she could question it further Parker pulls her hand.

"C'mon, I have to be back at the museum in an hour." Parker explains looking down at her watch.

Casting Maura one last look, Jane takes Parker's hand and follows her out the station.

Maura watched the two women leave. As she got up to return to the morgue she caught sight of the picture frame on Jane's desk. It was a picture of Jane, Parker and William. Maura remembers where it was taken, William's first birthday back in May. Jane and Parker were smiling at William who had birthday cake all over his face.

"A perfect family they make, huh?" Maura looked up startled at the presence of Korsak.

"Vince you scared me." Maura exclaimed placing a hand on her quickly beating heart.

She returned the picture frame to its position on the desk before turning to the older man surprised he was talking to her outside of anything relating to work. He, like Frankie, was still upset with Maura, so he only spoke to her when it related to an autopsy.

"They make a beautiful family and I won't let you ruin this for her."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean by that."

"I mean, that you've had your chance with Jane that you blew and for what? Tommy?"

Maura had to turn her head, to compose herself. She wouldn't allow his words to get to her.

"It was a mistake. It only happened once."

"Once is all it takes. Like I said before, you had your chance, it's time you move out the way and allow Jane to have a chance at happiness with Parker. Do you understand me?" Maura nodded, walking past Korsak to quickly return to the safety of the morgue.

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_**Short, I know, but a necessary chapter to advance the story. Also, you've met Parker, my own original character. If you guys want a visual of how I imagine her to look, it would be of Piper Perabo. Don't worry, the story will soon address why Maura slept with Tommy but that won't be for another couple of chapters. Review as always and I should have another chapter up by tonight. **_


	4. Confirmation

Maura finished sewing up the body, glad that the day had finally come to an end. She pulled off her purple latex gloves, leaving the body on the table for one of her assistants to return to its proper storing place. She took a seat at her desk, wanting to check to see if she had any late emails before she finally decided to go home. Spending nearly 15 minutes responding to emails, she exited Internet Explorer. She looked at her desktop nostalgically staring at her wallpaper, a picture of Jane, William and she at his first birthday.

"_Why, Maura? Why would you ruin your marriage?"_

The blonde sighed, "I don't know why I ruined our lives, Jane. I really don't know." She closed her eyes as her mind went back to the night she ruined everything.

"_Maura, can I please have just one?" Kayleen begged trying her best to persuade her sister._

"_No, Kayleen, you're not old enough to drink and I can't allow you to have alcohol. Besides, Hope would kill me." _

"_Alright, then I guess I'll have an iced tea." The younger girl said to the bartender. Turning back to her sister, she decided to question her about her upcoming wedding._

"_Are you nervous?"_

"_About what, tomorrow?" Maura thanked the bartender as he brought over their drinks. Kayleen nodded waiting as Maura took a sip of her cocktail. _

"_A little, but Jane has told me several times not to be. She's been so calm this entire week. I wish I could be."_

"_Well, you love Jane, right?" _

_Maura nodded._

"_Well then what is there to be nervous about? You both love each other and now you get to celebrate your love and make it official." Maura took another sip of her drink._

_Kayleen watched as Maura began to process what she had said and smiled once she finished._

"_You know you give great advice."_

"_I know." She gloated, taking a sip of her iced tea. They chatted for a few more minutes before Maura felt the alcohol stressing her bladder. She stood up, grabbing her purse. _

"_Can you watch my drink? I need to use the bathroom." Kayleen nodded, finishing off her iced tea._

_When Maura returned to the bar Jane's brother, Tommy, was their talking with Kayleen._

"_Hey, Tommy, what are you doing here?" she asked taking her seat at the bar once again._

"_I was just here with some friends. I saw your sister sitting here and I thought I would come over and say hi and congratulate you on the big day tomorrow."_

"_Yeah, it's just that I'm so nervous." She said her hand twisting her wedding ring out of nervous habit._

"_Don't worry; I'm sure everything will be fine. Hey, how about a toast to the big events to come?" He signaled for the bartender to bring him a beer and refill Kayleen glass. When he returned with their drinks everyone grabbed their drinks. He twisted the cap off the Heineken and lifted it,_

"_To not letting fear stop us from being with the person we want." Maura didn't quite understand what the younger Rizzoli meant, but she lifted her drink anyway. The three brought their drinks together and Maura gulped down the rest of the alcohol in the glass._

_They chatted idly for some time going through several drinks before Maura's vision began to get blurry and opaque. She tried to blink her eyes to clear her vision but it glazed and blurred once again. She looked down at her the bar and saw that there were three empty glasses. Although confused at the fact that she was feeling this way after only three cocktails, she figured she had enough alcohol and it was time to go home. She turned towards her sister, _

_"I'm not feeling too well, Kay," she said softly. "Maybe you should drive me home." _

_Kayleen turned towards Tommy,_

"_Can you help me get her to the car?" He nodded, jumping up off the stool. He took out his wallet dropping a few bills on the counter before returning it to his back pocket. __He put Maura's arm around his shoulders and started to guide her to the door. _

"_How much did you have to drink Maura?" he asked with a bit of amusement in his voice._

"_I—I don't r-r-r-member." She felt as if she was trying to talk with a mouth full of peanut butter. Neither of them spoke as he helped her stagger to the car. After securing her in the passenger seat, he offered to drive and Kayleen sat in the backseat with her sister. The entire ride, Maura was zoning in and out, but she failed to lose complete consciousness. Luckily they weren't far from the hotel and arrived with a few minutes. He helped Kayleen carry Maura to her room before heading back out to his car. He explained to them that he was going to return to his friends at the bar but to call him if anything was wrong. Kayleen stayed with Maura for a few minutes, helping her take off her clothes. Maura was feeling very warm and opted to only wear a t shirt and her underwear._

"_Kay, go b-back to your rrrroom and get some sleep. I'll be ffffine."_

"_Maura will you be okay? I can stay here if you need me to. I wouldn't want you to get hurt stumbling around the room." Maura put her robe on, suddenly feeling cold and waved her hand at her sister. _

"_No, I-I'll be fffffine. I guess I can't handle my liquor as well as I thought."_

_Kayleen looked at her skeptically, not wanting to leave._

"_I'll be alright, Kay. Look, how about this, if I need you I'll call you, okay. You're just down the hall." Kayleen still reluctant, agreed reminding Maura to call her if she needed her. Maura closed the door, locking it and returned to her bed, nearly tripping over one of her discarded heels on the way. Her vision had become tunneled and she was extremely fatigued. Just as she was prepared to let herself give in and lose consciousness, someone knocked on the door._

_She slowly got out of bed, feeling around the room trying not to fall. Finally reaching the door she felt even more tired at the thought of turning the door knob. She slowly unlocked the door._

"_Tommy?"_

Maura jumped at the ding of the elevator. She looked up to see her one and a half-year-old son slowly walk over to her. Ever since he took his first steps everyone has had a very hard time getting him to stop walking. Tommy followed close behind the toddler. Once the little boy reached her he collapsed in her arms, giggling at how far he had walked. "Hey, honey." She beamed, picking the toddler up and placing him in her lap. She gave him a kiss on his forehead as she ran a hand softly through his cap of blonde curls.

"Hey, babe." Tommy walked over, leaning down to kiss Maura.

"Hey, did you have fun today." Maura asked.

"Yeah, I took him to the park and that new kid's museum downtown with the huge ball pit."

"Please tell me you didn't jump into the pit, too!" Maura couldn't contain her laughter at the memory of the younger Rizzoli starting a war with Jane at Chuck E. Cheese in the ball pit.

"I did, but I behaved, I promise." He swore, raising his right hand. They both broke out into laughter, with William clapping his hands and laughing, too. Placing William's diaper bag on the desk, he took a seat on the chair in front of Maura's desk watching the blonde laugh with her son.

"We're is everyone? I didn't see Jane or Frankie on my way here."

Maura continued to clap with William, only allowing her smile to falter a little bit.

"They aren't ready yet." Maura whispered. Tommy frowned a little, wondering when they would ever be ready to forgive him. At times he felt truly guilty for what he did but at moments like this when he, Maura and William were happy and laughing and being a true family he has no regrets and considers everything he's gone though to be worth it.

Tommy stood up looking at his watch. "Hey, it's almost 7 how about you wrap up early and we go get dinner." He stepped closer to her, his voice dropping an octave, "And then we can go back to your place and have some fun of our own since Jane has Will tonight."

"Um… I can't" when she saw his smile fall she scrambled for an excuse.

"I really want to, but I have to finish this autopsy for a cold case." She explained pointing to the body in the window, grateful she hadn't put it away yet.

"Oh, alright. Well tomorrow then." Maura nodded, smiling as his smile returned. He picked up William, grabbing the diaper bag off the desk and leaned in to kiss Maura goodnight. She watched them step onto the elevator and as the door closed she sat down into her chair sighing heavily. She didn't want to lie to Tommy, but she just wasn't up for sex with him tonight and his suggestive tone told her that he definitely was looking forward to doing just that at the end of the night. She turned back on her computer since she now had to waste time in the morgue to cover up her lie.

Tommy stepped off the elevator, fishing for his keys in his jacket pocket. William surveyed the bullpen, a room he was beginning to become familiar with. When he looked over and saw Jane sitting at his desk, he called out to her,

"Ma-ma!" Jane looked up from the case she was reviewing and smiled. She stood up waving to the toddler.

"Hey, baby boy."

"Hey Jane." Tommy smiled walking over to his sister, hoping that William could get Jane talk to him. Jane walked over to her son taking him from Tommy, ignoring his greeting.

"Did you have fun today?" the toddler clapped his hands, grinning showing off where a tooth had begun to sprout.

Although she still hadn't spoken more than two words to him since her divorce, Tommy was glad she opened up to the idea of him being around William even if she only did it after Maura talked her into it.

"Well, thank for letting me spend the day with him. We had a lot of fun."

Jane nodded, not making eye contact with him as she continued to play peek-a-book with her son. Tommy placed the diaper bag on Jane's desk, kissing William on the forehead and walking out the bullpen. After a few minutes of playing with William, she realized that Maura was still down in the morgue. Seeing that there was nothing being accomplished on the case, Jane decided to call it a night. Jane draped the diaper bag over her shoulder and closed the folder on her desk. Carrying William into to the elevator she pressed the button for the bottom floor.

"Do you think mommy's hungry?" William nodded. When they reached the morgue Jane placed a finger at her mouth signaling William to be as quiet as possible. He imitated his mother placing a finger on his mouth as he giggled. They walked into the doctor's office to see her sitting at her desk with her head in her hands.

"It's highly unprofessional to sleep at work." Jane joked. Maura looked up smiling as this warm comfort enveloped her at seeing what felt like her "real family" standing in the doorway. At the thought Maura couldn't help the few tears falling from her eyes. At seeing the blonde upset, Jane's protective instinct kicked in.

"Did Tommy upset you?" Jane walked with William in her arms over to where Maura sat. "If he did I won't hesitate to kick his ass—oops, I meant his butt." She blushed, correcting herself as she looked down at William who seemed unfazed by Jane's choice in words.

Maura couldn't help the smile that forms at Jane's slip up. She wiped at her eyes, shaking her head,

"No I'm okay."

"Alright," Jane said, not believing the doctor but chose to let it go. "Well, Will and I came to see if you wanted to accompany us to dinner."

"Um, no I have to finish an autopsy."

"Maur, one, I can see from here that the body is already sewn up and two, I know you haven't eaten all day, so come eat with us. Plus families with a kid eat cheaper after 7." Jane smiled at the doctor and Maura smiled once again as Jane extended her hand to the blonde. Maura reached out taking the detective's hand and as she stood she instinctively laced her with Jane's. Her heart fluttered at the contact confirming what Maura was afraid of

'_I still am deeply in love with you, Jane.'_

* * *

_So there you go another chapter. I'll slowly reveal what happened that night Maura cheated through flashbacks. I hope you guys like this installment and I should be back with another one soon. I realized through some of the reviews that some people are upset with me for not updating my other stories and are afraid I'll abandon this one too, but I I'll try my hardest to finish this. I never plan on leaving stories unfinished but when my inspiration leaves me, my stories tend to come out sounding forced and I don't' want to give the readers anything but my best work. My inspiration to write this story is still strong and hopefully I'll be able to complete it within the next month. As always review. Also during the story Maura looks at her computer and becomes nostalgic when she sees the computer wallpaper, so I created a picture of what I envisioned Maura's desktop wallpaper to be and if you want an actual visual it can be found at:_

**www . darkwriterxx94 .deviantart (dot com)/art / Family-Photo-2-321042638**

(just remove the spaces)


	5. Remembering

As Parker stood applying paint to the canvas she couldn't help the fulfillment that come over her at finally finishing the painting. She couldn't recall when she started painting but the moment she realized how much enjoyment it brought her she immediately sought out to make it her career. Unfortunately painting doesn't pay the bills so she took a job doing the next best thing, being a curator for the museum in downtown Boston. Now don't get her wrong, she loved her job, but it was moments like these with just her and her brush that she cherished the most. Finally applying the last bit of paint to the corner of the canvas she looked at the man in front of her trying his hardest to remain still and back to the canvas to compare. Feeling that there was nothing else she could do to the painting, she dipped her brush in black ink and signed the canvas in the bottom corner.

"All finished."

At her announcement, Frost couldn't wait to stand up and stretch his legs which had fallen asleep over an hour ago.

"Can I see it?"

"No you cannot. It's a surprise." She explained, dropping her brushes in the tin can sitting on the table next to her canvas. Jane walked into the living room where the two were standing holding two shirts.

"Hey, Babe, which one—Woah that looks just like him." she said astonished at the photo-like similarity between the painting and her partner.

The blonde stood up on her toes to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek.

"Thanks." She took a step back surveying the two shirts in Jane's hand before pointing to the blue one in her right hand,

"That one." Jane looked at her girlfriend with a look of relief, throwing the other shirt on the couch and pulling the blue one over head. Parker laughed picking up her canvas, grabbing the discarded shirt off the couch on her way to the bedroom to allow the painting to dry.

"You're leaving?" Frost asked, still shaking his legs to try and get rid of the tingling in them.

"Yeah, did you forget that Maura and I are going to that orientation for that fancy pre-school that Maura wants to enroll Will in?" Jane threw the brochure to Frost as she put on her shoes.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. But Will is almost two years old, don't you think he's a little young for pre-school?" he surveyed the pamphlet, his eyes widening at the price.

"Well, we tried to keep him out of daycare for as long as possible but Maura and I both work. It's only from 9 to 3 and it's mainly developing skills like speaking and things like that. Plus it'll give Ma sometime off since she's been keeping William while we're working. "

"Well if I were paying $2000 a week I expect my child to be able to read_ and_ play Beethoven by the end of the year." Jane burst out laughing finding it even harder to control herself at seeing how serious her partner was, his frown failing to change.

"Well Maura wants the best for him and honestly, so do I. Yeah it's a lot of money for just daycare but he's my world and I'll pay whatever it costs to give him the best."

"Hey, what about me?" Parker questions as she returns to the living room trying her hardest to pout.

"I don't know. You're ok." Jane shrugged trying to maintain a serious face. Parker gasped feigning being offended as she picked up a pillow off the couch and threw it at the detective.

"Oh, c'mon. I love you, my world doesn't exist if you're not in it, too." Jane stated standing up to kiss the painter. The two separated at the sound of the door bell.

"Frost can you get that while I go get Will." He nodded, going to answer the door.

"Hey Maura."

"Hey Barry." He stepped aside to allow the doctor to step inside.

"Jane's in Will's room, she'll be out in a minute." Maura nodded in understanding, waving to Parker.

"Hey Maura. Are we still on for Saturday?" she asked as she continued to clean her brushes.

"Of course. Do I have to wear anything special?"

"You can wear whatever you want to be painted in. Just pick something you won't mind seeing yourself in whenever you look at the painting." She smiled.

"Hey Maur" Jane said as she entered the living room, carrying William, who was sound asleep in her arms. She was glad that he fell asleep not long after Jane dressed him because she would have hated for him to have messed up the new shirt Maura bought for him to wear to the orientation.

Jane walked over to Parker leaning down to give her a peck on the lips.

"I'll call you when we're headed back. I Love you."

"I love you too." She responded.

Jane grabbed her keys off the table before turning, smiling at Maura.

"Ready to go?" The blonde nodded. Jane put out her hand and Maura slipped her hand into the detectives, their fingers naturally lacing together. Frost, who watched the two walk out the door, turned to look at Parker to see if she noticed them. She was distracted with her brushes and hadn't even seen the two leave.

"Are you comfortable with that?"

"With what?"

"That they hold hands when they go out."

"So." she stated flatly shrugging her shoulders, not bothering to look up from the bin in front of her.

"It doesn't making you a little uneasy that she's so close to her ex-wife?" Parker looked up at Frost, clearly amused. Frost was confused at why it didn't bother the artist when he thought it clearly should. He had become friends with Maura again after the divorce, but he wasn't naïve. He knew that she still had feelings for Jane and he liked Parker too much to allow her to get hurt.

"They're close, I know this and I've accepted it. They're best friends. Yeah Maura broke Jane's heart and a part of me hates her for that, but if Jane has gotten over it enough to be her friend again then I have to let her do what she wants. I have no reason to be jealous of the relationship they have."

Frost shook his head in disbelief, "Ok. It's your decision"

Parker didn't respond, leaving the room silent. After a few minutes sitting with only the sound of her running her brushes through water filling the room, Frost questions began to bother her.

"Should I be?"

Frost looked up from the magazine he had picked up.

"I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust Jane or Maura, but this is exactly how their relationship started last time. First they were friends then they became best friends, holding hands, hugs that lasted a little too long, sleepovers, spending all their time together. Now they have William, another excuse for them to be together. I may just be over analyzing a very innocent situation but I'm just saying, watch out for Maura because she stole Jane's heart the first time, who's to say she won't again."

"Well she can't steal what's already mine." Parker whispered somewhat solemnly. She was very confident in her relationship with Jane and trusted her completely, but somehow Frost's words were getting to her.

Frost looked up at her sympathetically,

"Do you love her?"

Parker dropped her brush, staring down at them as a tear fell mixing with the water below her. She wiped at her eyes before looking up at the detective.

"Oh God, I love her so much. But I don't want to rush her. When we met she was so fragile, it took so long to get her to even kiss me…Do I think she still loves Maura? Of course. You don't have a history with someone like that and not still have some feelings for them. But then there are the moments when she tells me how I'm the light in her heart or when she sends flowers to my job or she does something else to show how much I mean to her. Those are the moments when I truly believe she loves me more." Frost walked over to the crying women and wrapped his arms around her.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Just keep being the women she loves and you have nothing to worry about."

"I truly hope you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I didn't get this far in life on good looks alone."

Parker rolled her eyes chuckling as she playfully pushing Frost.

"C'mon, let's me take you out to lunch to make you feel better." Frost offered. The blonde wiped at the remaining tears that failed to fall as she nodded her head.

"Alright, but I get to choose where we go."

* * *

Jane quickly made her way down the aisle of the auditorium to where Maura and Will sat.

"I managed to find a parking spot not too far from the front door." She explained as she took a seat next to the blonde. She pulled her phone out of its carrying case, turning the ringer to vibrate before returning it to its resting place on her hip.

"Good morning parents, I am Miriam Westmore, headmaster of Westmore-Fields Early Childhood Institute and I would like to welcome all of you. Here at Westmore-Fields we are dedicated to equipping your child with all the skills necessary to give him or her the greatest advantage possible when it comes time to enter their respective k-12 schools."

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" Jane turned to see a woman and man standing next to her motioning to the vacant seats next to the detective.

"No. You can sit." The woman looked gratefully at Jane as she took a seat placing a hand on her swollen stomach. Jane guessed she was due within the next month. Jane watched as the relief of being off her feet spread across the woman's face before Jane turned back to the speaker at the front of the room. After a few minutes Jane couldn't help but reflect back to when Maura was pregnant. ..

"_Jane, I want a milkshake." Maura whined as she and Jane sat on the couch in her living room watching T.V._

"_Maur, just minutes ago, you were telling me how you felt fat. Now you want a milkshake?" Maura just nodded her head as she tried her hardest to pout, trying to convince the detective to get her the frozen treat._

_She smiled when she saw her wife begin to stand up, "Chocolate or Vanilla?"_

"_Chocolate."_

"_How do you expect my son to be a star athlete if you're drinking milkshakes all the time?"_

"_It's not a boy, it's most definitely a girl." Maura argued, placing a hand on her swollen abdomen. "Have you thought of any names?" the brunette asked, taking a seat next to her wife on the couch once again. "Yeah, I really like Emma Rose." Jane smiled at her leaning in to kiss her. "We're going to have a baby, Maur. We'll be the perfect family."_

"_Yeah, I know. But Jane?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I still want my chocolate milkshake." She laughed at Jane's frustration as she got up and walked out the front door. __'Yeah, we'll be the perfect family'_

Snapping from her daydream just as Miriam instructs everyone to follow her for the tour Jane reaches over, offering to carry William, who has managed to fall asleep again, as they walk out of the auditorium. As Miriam gives a small speech about the art room, both women, unbeknownst to the other, watches the expectant mother as she walks with her boyfriend. Finally, Jane looks over to see that Maura has noticed the expecting mother and she reaches out to grab Maura's hand.

"Do you miss it?"

Maura smiles up at Jane, tightening her grasp on the detective's hand.

"Yes, I do."

Jane turns to look at Maura, confused "really? You miss all the cravings and the morning sickness?"

Maura looks back at Jane perplexed, _'she was asking whether or not I missed being pregnant? I just assumed that when she said "it" she meant out marriage. I guess that's what I get for assuming.' _

Maura forces a smile to hide her hurt and shake her head yes.

"Would you do it all over again?" Jane questions. This time Maura doesn't look up but instead looks down at the floor sadly,

"I wouldn't do it _all_ again." Jane's feels as if her heart is dropping at Maura's confession. When she asked the question she was referring to the pregnancy, but for some reason Jane doesn't feel as if Maura was talking about being pregnant with their son when she answered. However, she decides to ignore it and they continue the tour in silence. Afterwards, being that it was only a little before eleven, Jane decided to treat them to a late breakfast before Maura had to meet up with Tommy for lunch. Once they were seated Jane turned towards her son noticing that he squirmed uncomfortably. That was one of the things they loved about their son. He didn't cry that often and when something bothered him he would just whimper to get his mothers' attention. Maura reached for the diaper bag next to Jane but the detective grabbed her hand.

"It's alright, I'll do it." She smiled at the blonde, grabbing the bag and carrying William to the restroom.

As Maura looked at her menu she couldn't help, but smile to herself. 'S_he's constantly doing things to remind me why I fell in love with her in the first place. How could you let her get away?'_ her smile fell at the thought…

"_Tommy? Whatt're you doing herrre?"_

"_I just came to check on you. I got to the bar and couldn't stop worrying so I came back here. Do you mind if I come in?"_

"_I'm fffine. I'm going to bed" talking was become more and more of a daunting task. Tommy placed a hand on the door pushing it lightly to find that Maura didn't have the strength to stop him from coming in. _

"_Alright. But let me come in and I'll keep an eye on you until you fall asleep. "_

"_No. I'm fine." She slurred as she tried to walk to bed not even bothering to check if Tommy had followed her inside. She felt as if she was trying to run in a pool of mud. She just wanted to lie down and sleep. Sleep was something she wanted so desperately right now._

"_C'mon Maura. I won't be satisfied until you're sleeping." Maura turned towards the younger Rizzoli desperate to convince him to leave, but right now even blinking seemed too exhausting. _

"_Fine. Just stay on the couch and –and llleave the mmmoment I fall asleep." She whispered. She turned to go to her bed but felt Tommy grab her arm._

"_Maura, why are you marrying Jane?" he whispered. _

"_B-because I lovvve her." She felt like her legs were turning to jelly and her legs could no longer support her. _

"_But what about me? I thought you liked me? You flirted with me and everything." He reached out, running his hand down her cheek. She wanted to slap it away but the thought alone of lifting her arm was too much. _

"_That was all…it was all before Jane." Her vision was growing dimmer and dimmer._

"_I know, I know. But can I have you just this once? The last night you're a free women?"_

_The last thing she remembers is whispering "No." before everything went black. _

_Maura awoke at the sun shining in her face as it peeked through the curtains. She turned onto her back feeling well rested despite the fact that her mouth was extremely dry. She sat up, blinking a few times to clear up her vision. When the blurriness in her eyes faded, she turned to see a sleeping, naked Tommy in bed next to her._

_The younger Rizzoli stirred at feeling Maura sit up._

"_Tommy…" she whispered, her eyes clenching shut praying this was all a bad dream she hadn't awoken from yet. He stirred again, his eyes opening as he smiled up at the blonde, "Good morning" he whispered sitting up. He leaned over to kiss the doctor, but she immediately pushed him away._

"_You need to go."_

"_Ah, c'mon Maura. After all we shared last night I would think we would be closer than that."_

"_Get out! NOW!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face. She hugged the sheets to her body, eyes still shut trying to get herself to wake up from the nightmare. The clearer it became that she was already awake, the harder she cried. She cried hysterically until she heard the door slam shut signaling that Tommy had left. She got out of bed after making sure he had left and walked over to her suit case and pulled out one of Jane's shirts. The detective's scent still lingered on it. Maura only brought the shirt out whenever she really missed Jane while she's working a long case. She brought the shirt to her chest as she cried hard at the self disgust she felt over what she had done. And what makes it worse is that she can't remember any of it. _

_She slowly showered trying to wash away the shame covering her body. __Feeling as some of his sperm dripped down her legs the reality was setting in. A mistake she didn't even remember making could have possibly marked the end of marriage before she even walked down the aisle. She slid down to the floor of the shower and cried for several minutes before she was able to pick herself up and finish washing. She got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and Jane's shirt. _ She had to find her and tell her what had happened. Jane would forgive her once she explained what happened. God, she prayed, she would forgive her. She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her room key and headed to the door. Before she can reach for the knob someone knocked at the door. She slowly opened the door, hoping it was Jane. 

_Maura's heart dropped at seeing Angela standing their holding her wedding dress,_

"_Today's the day you become a Rizzoli!" She exclaims._

"Maura-Maura" Maura looked up from her menu where she had fallen into a daydream and saw that Jane and Will had returned to the table. William was awake, playing with the stuffed animal he had grown attached to in the past weeks.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Jane chuckled at Maura, amused before repeating her question. "Yeah, I asked did you want Pancakes or Waffles."

* * *

**_I thought I'd spend some time letting you guys get to know Parker and her thoughts on everything. I hope you guys liked this chapter and I tried to make it longer. Reviews are always great ways of letting me know what I'm doing wrong or right and I really appreciate them. So to all of you who have reviewed thanks and know that I read them all and consider all of the points each of you make._**


	6. Remembering Part 2

_**I first want to begin with congratulation the review by RED. His/her review for chapter 5 was spot on and because he/she is a guest I couldn't personally tell him/her how accurate their review was. Another note, I realized based on the timeline that William is close to 2 years old (a newborn in chapter 1 +the story taking place 18 months later) but the way I've written him, he acts much younger. It's been a long time since I or any of my siblings have been near that age so I can't recall how a toddler of that age acts in everyday situations. I'll try to write William close to his age from now on. Also, warning this chapter depicts nonconsensual sex towards the end.**_

* * *

Maura waited in the airport smiling as she watched her younger sister roll her suitcase down the terminal to where the doctor stood waiting. She looked remarkably thinner since she's seen her at the wedding. Nonetheless, Maura was happy to see her little sister.

"Oh my god, Kayleen, you've matured so much since I've last seen you." Maura exclaimed reaching out to hug the younger woman.

"It's only been two years." Maura helped Kayleen carry her bag as they walked towards the door. "Speaking of which, I go off to finish college and come back and you're divorced." Kayleen pointed out. Maura looked down at her feet as the two made their way out to her car.

"Yeah, I know but I'm not really in the mood to talk about it right now. "

"You know you're going to have to talk with someone about it eventually and if not with me then someone else. " Maura slowly nodded, choosing to remain silent and focus on the road.

The two went out for lunch, and coffee then deciding to go shopping afterwards.

"God, now I remember why I hated being in Boston during this time, it's cold as hell. We have to buy me a new coat or I'll freeze my ass off." She stated, rubbing her hands together to warm them.

"Kayleen, language." She scolded. "You never liked shopping before, what changed?"

"Oh nothing, I just have a new outlook on life. "

"Well do you plan to go back to finish and earn your degree?"

Kayleen shook her head, no."

"I don't think so. There are so many other things I want to do while I still can and studying for a degree I won't ever get to use is pointless." Maura nodded, not completely understanding what her sister was referring to but stayed quiet and took a sip of her coffee as the two continued to make their way down the street stopping to glance at several displays.

Maura knew she had no right to push Kayleen about not finishing school if she wasn't willing to talk to her about Jane. She could tell that Kayleen wanted to desperately ask about the detective but honestly, Maura wasn't in the mood to talk about the detective. Ever since she realized that she was still in love with Jane and would probably never stop loving Jane, she was trying her hardest to avoid being around the detective more than necessary. It had been two weeks since she and Jane had actually hung out and they only saw each other when Maura came to pick up Will from Jane and Parker's house. However, she hadn't seen her sister in a little over two years and Maura wanted someone to talk to about this with badly since all of her friends stopped talking to her when word got out that she cheated.

She took a deep breath, "I don't really remember much about what happened that night." Kayleen looked up at her sister startled at the voice that had interrupted the 10 minutes of silence.

"What do you remember because you were pretty out of it?"

"I remember feeling really drunk and Tommy coming to my room after you left. He of course was flirting with me and trying to kiss me…he—he asked if he could have me just this once before I got married."

"You said no, right?" Kayleen asked astonished at the bold actions of the same man that had flirted with her that same night.

"Of course. " Maura sighed deeply, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

"But somewhere along the night I must have said yes if we had sex... It's just that I didn't drink that much but I felt extremely intoxicated."

"Well maybe the bartender mixed up the drinks and gave you something stronger. It was crowded that night. Besides, it's not like someone could have spiked your drink because you never left them unattended…well except when you went to the bathroom but I kept a good eye on you glass." Kayleen threw away her coffee, the taste of it beginning to make her nauseous.

"I know Kay. I just wish I could back to that night and told you to stay with me." Kayleen placed a sympathetic hand on her sister's shoulder.

"Stop blaming yourself, you made a mistake."

"But it wasn't just _one _mistake. I made over 300 mistakes, each mistake being made when I allowed a day to pass without telling Jane the truth."

"Maura, you couldn't have known that she would ever find out. Everyone is entitled to a secret."

"But not a secret like that." The two continued to walk, stopping in one store to pick up a hat that Maura thought would look perfect on William.

"Hey Maura, can we stop for a minute." Maura stopped immediately, turning to look at her sister who was now paler than she was a few minutes ago.

"Kay, are you alright?" Maura grabbed her sister's hand as the younger woman clutched her stomach in obvious pain. Kayleen snatched the hat off her head, wiping at the sweat on her forehead.

"Why is it so damn hot?" She leaned against the window of the story they stood in front of trying to steady her racing heart.

"Kayleen speak to me! Tell me what's wrong!" the blonde cried out. Before Kayleen could respond she crumbled down to the concrete below them, her face growing deeper in color from red down to a bruised sort of purple with a tint of blue in her lips. For a moment, to Maura it seemed like the world had stopped spinning. Maura immediately dropped down to her knees, forcing herself to not to break down and cry and instead be the doctor she was trained to be. She only had to do this once before and she tried not to think about Jane shooting herself. She immediately checked for Kayleen's pulse, telling a bystander to call 911. It was weak, too weak and it terrified Maura. She ripped open Kayleen's jacket and began to administer CPR. All while her emotions were running haywire she prayed that she wouldn't lose Kayleen too.

* * *

"Oh god, stop Jane! I Give Up!" Jane laughed as she straddled the blonde below her tickling the painter's sides. It started off with Parker lying and telling Jane she wasn't ticklish and Jane knew she was lying immediately when her nose wrinkled as she spoke. As a result, Jane picked her up, throwing her over her shoulder, and carried her to the bedroom, making it her personal mission to find her most ticklish spot, which just so happened to be her sides.

"I can't stop, I don't think I've found your most ticklish spot yet." Jane said, not easing up a bit.

William sat in the living room on the floor playing with his new toy truck when he heard Parker scream. He immediately got up his feet, well as fast a two year old could any way. He had just began walking (hey, don't judge him; he likes to take his time on important things). He followed the sound to his mommy's bedroom and could hear her laughing but Parker looked like she was crying. He immediately began to cry. He had to help her.

"Mommy stop! Don't hurt Park!" both women stopped. Jane turned to look down at her crying son and Parker sat up leaning on her elbows as she panted heavily, grateful for the distraction.

Jane found it so adorable that he stood up for her girlfriend. Deciding it would be fun, she chose to poke fun at the toddler. "How come you took Parker's side? Are you trading on me, William?"

He shakes his head no, wiping at his eyes as tear continue to fall.

Jane stands up and walks over to him.

"Nope, I think you're a traitor. Don't you think so, babe?" William looked over to the bed and realized that Parker was no longer lying on the bed but before he could locate where Parker had moved to in the room he was lifted up by said woman and brought over to the bed. Both women unleashed a relentless assault of tickles on the toddler, their hearts melting at the sound of his laughter filling the room.

"Mommy, that tickles!" he screamed out through his laughter. They continued tickling his sides but it was interrupted by the sound of Jane's cell phone vibrating on the bedside table. Jane, still laughing walked over to the phone, answering it.

"Hello."

"_Oh my god, Jane!"_ Jane immediately grew concerned.

"Maura? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"_I'm at the Boston General Hospital downtown." _

"The hospital? Are you hurt?" Jane's protective instinct kicked in immediately.

"_No, it's not me. It's Kayleen, she fainted. I-I don't know what's wrong with her, she just passed out!" _she cried.

Jane turned towards Parker who looked at her wanting to know what was wrong with Maura. She held up a finger telling her to wait a minute as she continued to talk to Maura.

"Do you need me to come to the hospital? I can call Tommy."

"_I already called him. Jane please, I need you with me." She wiped at her eyes, the tears clouding her vision making it extremely difficult to see the doctors operating on her sister. "She looked as if she was going to die! I can't lose her, too." _

"Alright, Maur, I'm on my way." Jane grabbed her keys off the table. She turned towards Parker who held William. They both looked very concerned

"I have to go the hospital. Maura's sister fainted and she doesn't want to be alone."

"Oh man, well you should get down there fast." She kissed Jane, "be safe and call me and tell what happens."Jane nodded, leaving the room.

Jane ran into the hospital, demanding to know what room Kayleen was in, even showing her badge to get the nurse to move faster. When she was told what floor, she opted to take the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

She looked down the hall and Tommy was waiting outside Kayleen's room watching through the glass in the wall. Jane slowly approached the room. She looked through the glass and saw the doctors changing one of Kayleen's IVs. Jane wanted to be optimistic but with her pale skin and blue lips she looked as if she might be heading towards death. Jane watched as Maura held an unconscious Kayleen's hand as she laid her head on the bed. Her body shook as she cried.

Tommy hated to admit it but he was hoping Maura hadn't called Jane. He wished that she would stop being so dependent on the detective.

"Jane, you didn't have to come. I'm here for her." He spoke, a little bit of annoyance in his voice.

Jane rolled her eyes, irritated at his statement.

"She wants me here." Maura looked up from the bed and the moment she saw that Jane had arrived she walked out the hospital room to where the detective and Tommy stood. Tommy immediately stepped up, extended his arms to the blonde but Maura didn't seem to notice his gesture because she immediately went straight into Jane's arms.

Tommy, obviously pissed scowls at Jane and the brunette growing annoyed with his childishness, mouthed "Not now." Jane was really upset that Tommy was choosing the time where Maura needed them to start some sort of sibling rivalry.

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura tighter as her sobs continued. Maura clung to her shirt, bawling the material into her fists, holding Jane to her afraid she'd disappear.

"Jane, she's dying!" she cried out. Jane rubbed at Maura's back soothingly,

"C'mon, we don't know that. "

"No, Jane, she's dying. Her body is rejecting my kidney and her disease has only progressed. The doctor says she would need a new kidney in the next couple of weeks or she's going to die." Jane sighed, heavily, not expecting the news that Maura had just dropped on her.

"Maura let me take you home, seeing Kayleen like this is making you upset."

"I don't want to leave her." Maura sobbed, looking at her sister in the window.

"We can come back tomorrow, Maur, I promise."

Tommy reached out, placing a hand on Maura's arms.

"I'll take her home." He offered. Maura tightened her grasp on Jane,

"Jane, don't leave me. I need you" She whispered. Jane looked at Tommy,

"I'll take her home." The younger Rizzoli, clearly upset, turned and stormed away. Jane helped Maura out to her car opting to let her stay with her and Parker so she could make sure she was alright throughout the night.

By the time they had arrived back at the house, Parker and William had already gone to sleep. Jane carried Maura, who had fallen asleep in the car, into the guestroom, lying her down gently on the bed. She lightly undressed the doctor, playing a blanket over her. She sat on the edge of the bed; looking down at the doctor she could see the stress of the day permeating her sleep. She wiped a stray blonde hair off her forehead, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Just as Jane prepared to stand up and leave, she felt Maura stir.

"Jane don't ever leave me… I need you in my life." Jane sat quietly for a few minute thinking about Maura said as the doctor went back to sleep, before getting up and going into her bedroom to go to sleep. As she laid down that night, Maura's words floated across her head. As Jane closed her eyes, ready to go to sleep she couldn't help but think,

"Don't worry Maur; I need you just as much."

* * *

Tommy sat in the Dirty Robber, finishing off his second bottle of jack, drunk out of his mind. He was pissed at both Maura and Jane. "After all I've been through she can't give up my fucking sister. I'm her boyfriend not Jane! If she knew all that I went through to be with her she'd appreciate me more, I know she would…"

_Tommy had always had a thing for Maura, ever since he had met her that first day when he came home. She was young and bright and sexy, and they hit it off from the start, soon becoming fast friends. As the months wore on, he pushed their friendship turning it to flirting, and flirting to sexual attraction. The only downfall to their future relationship was Jane, who had finally decided she wanted to confess her feelings to Maura. He was heartbroken to learn that the blonde actually shared her feelings and any chance of he and Maura being together had gone out the window. And now she was getting married._

_ Tommy found himself actually upset that she said yes as he sat in the far corner of the club watching Maura and her sister. Her hair, shoulder length and chestnut brown, bounced with the remnants of the day's curls. Her brown eyes twinkled at she laughed at something Kayleen said. When he saw her excuse herself to go to what he assumed was the bathroom he realized this was the opportunity he had been waiting for all night. Finishing off his drink, he stood up ready to capitalize because he knew this could be the last chance he'd ever get. As he made his way through the crowd he fingered the small pill in his pocket. _

"_Hey, you're Maura's sister aren't you?" he asked approaching the teenager who had just downed a margarita._

_The teenage looked up scared that Maura had caught her drinking but sighed in relief at the sight of the younger Rizzoli. _

"_Yeah, Maura's just in the bathroom, if you're looking for her." Tommy looked around to make sure Maura had left the restroom before leaning into Kayleen._

"_No, I wanna talk to you." He whispered into her ear. The young girl blushed casting her eyes downwards._

"_How old are you?"_

"_17."_

"_Hey, how about I give you my number and the moment you turn 18, call me." The young girl nodded anxiously. _

"_Alright."_

_Tommy reached his jacket for his phone and the small white pill. _

"_Ok, what's your—oh shoot I dropped my phone." _

"_Don't worry, I'll get it." Kayleen offered, leaning down to get it. The moment she took her eyes off the bar, he dropped the small pill into Maura's glass and watched as it dissolved just as Kayleen stood up handing him his phone._

"_Ok, so my number is- oh shoot, here comes Maura." Tommy tuned watching her walk back towards them through the crowd. She was a beauty, and not just in his eyes. She was thin, sleek and sexy. She had just enough curves in all the right places to give her a lithe, feminine figure._

"_Hey, Tommy, what are you doing here?" she asked taking her seat at the bar once again._

"_I was just here with some friends. I saw your sister sitting here and I thought I would come over and say hi and congratulate you on the big day tomorrow."_

"_Yeah, I'm so nervous." She said her hand twisting her wedding ring out of nervous habit, immediately angering the younger Rizzoli, but he masked the envy as quickly as it came._

"_Don't worry; I'm sure everything will be fine. Hey, how about a toast to the big events to come?" He signaled for the bartender to bring him a beer and when it arrived he lifted it,_

"_To not letting fear stop us from being with the person we want." He declared knowing Maura wouldn't catch the double meaning. The three brought their drinks together and as he took a small sip of his beer he leered at her over his drink watching as she finished off hers. Smiling he knew all he had to do now was wait._

_They chatted idly for some time before she began to blink her eyes, glazed and blurred, at him. She turned towards her sister, _

_"I'm not feeling too well, Kay," she said softly. "Maybe you should drive me home." _

_Kayleen turned towards Tommy,_

"_Can you help me get her to the car?" He was all too eager to help. __He put her arm around his shoulders and started to guide her to the door. _

"_How much did you have to drink Maura?"_

"_I—I don't r-r-r-member." He smiled inwardly knowing that she would blame her current state on have one too many drinks. Neither of them spoke as he helped her stagger to the car. He offered to drive and after making certain Maura was secured in backseat with Kayleen, he almost leaping over the hood to get to the driver's side._

_He dropped the women off at the hotel where everyone was staying. He drove around the hotel parking lot a few times, watching Kayleen's room waiting for her light to come on signifying that she had returned to her room and that Maura was alone. When it finally came on, he parked and got to Maura's room as quickly as his legs would allow. When he knocked and received no answer he was afraid that she had already passed out and he would have no way of getting his room. Just as he turned to walk away and give up he heard the door unlock._

"_T-ommmmy__ Whatt're you doing herrre?"_

"_I just came to check on you. I got to the bar and couldn't stop worrying so I came back here. Do you mind if I come in?"_

"_I'm fffine. I'm going to bed" talking was become more and more of a daunting task. Tommy placed a hand on the door pushing it lightly to find that Maura didn't have the strength to stop him from coming in. _

"_Alright. But let me come in and I'll keep an eye on you. "_

"_No. I'm fine." She slurred as she tried to walk to bed not even bothering to check if Tommy had followed her inside. She felt as if she was trying to run in a pool of mud. She just wanted to lay down and sleep. Sleep was something she wanted so desperately right now._

"_C'mon Maura. I won't be satisfied until you're sleeping." Tommy smirked at how far gone Maura was that she didn't catch the suggestive nature in his last sentence.  
_

"_Fine. Just stay on the couch and –and llleave the mmmoment I fall asleep." She whispered. She turned to go to her bed but Tommy reached out to grab her arm._

"_Maura, why are you marrying Jane?"_

"_B-because I lovvve her." "But what about me? I thought you liked me? You flirted with me and everything."_

"_That was all…it was all before Jane." _

"_I know, I know. But can I have you just this once? The last night you're a free women?"_

"_No." she said as she walked over to the bed collapsing onto it. Tommy took a seat across from her on a stool and watched her silently succumb to the drug. He had given her a chance to do it willingly but she refused him so now he had to take it. He watched her face begin to get that far away look and soon her eyes closed. Tommy stood up and walked over to the bed. He slapped her lightly on the face calling her name. Receiving no response he realized that she was unconscious. He slid her gray robe down her shoulders, reveling in its smooth silkiness, leaving her in only a t shirt and her underwear._

_He unclasped his buckle and unsnapped his pants. Unzipping the front, he wasted no time in tugging them down over his waist and thighs, his eyes lingering on the white, lacy thong-panties she wore. In his haste, Tommy had forgotten about his sneakers, and practically tore them from his feet with his socks quickly following. Unobstructed, he finished pulling them free and tossed them to the floor. Climbing onto the bed with her, he moved to her shirt. It was more difficult to pull a shirt off of a limp body then he would have expected, but after long moments of ambitious struggling, he managed to pull it over her head and threw it to the floor. She moaned what sounded like incoherent mumbling. Tommy leaned close and lightly kissed her earlobe._

_Dressed now in only a thong and matching pushup bra, Tommy forced himself to slow down, to relax his tense muscles. He did not want to hurt her, and he did not want to rush through this moment. It was the first and almost certainly the last chance he would get to fulfill a desire he had been carrying for so long. Almost trying not to look at her, he reached beneath her and undid her bra clasp. Sliding the straps from her shoulders, he backed off of the bed. He slowed only to hook his fingers into the waistband of her panties and gently slithered them off as he moved._

_ Tommy stood at the foot of the bed and let the undergarments fall to the floor. Taking a deep breath, he finally allowed himself to stare at the naked body of the woman on his bed. His eyes traced their way from her face, the lovely face he had admired for so many months. Like her face, the skin of the rest of her body was smooth and lightly tanned from infrequent sessions to the salon. Her neck was long and sleek, and her shoulders and arms smooth and sexual. She had graceful hands with expensively groomed nails. Her body hair was light and sparse, almost naturally non-existent._

_ Her breasts stood off of her chest with the firmness of youth. It took a supreme effort to drag his eyes from them and continue down over her flat, smooth stomach and slightly curved hips. She did not shave her pubic hair, something he had always expected that she did, but it was neatly trimmed. And like the rest of her body, the hair was soft and sparse, making shaving almost unnecessary. Her thighs were creaming and soft, and her long, lean legs were well toned. Her feet were the most perfect he had ever seen, smooth and delicate, compete with polished nails. _

_The longer he stood the angrier he got at the fact that she did all of this for Jane and not him. She kept herself in top shape for Jane, she made sure she maintained her figure that she was dating Jane and marrying Jane. Breathing deeply to calm himself, Tommy climbed back onto the bed and moved up beside her. Propping himself up, he allowed his right hand to move over her body. He felt the firmness of her stomach, the smoothness of her thighs and hips. __Still exploring her body, he began to kiss her face, her neck, her cheeks, and finally her mouth. He kissed her like a lover for a long time, exploring her lips and mouth and teeth and tongue. A rush flowed through his body at the infrequent times where he thought he could her respond and kiss back. The moments were few and fleeting, but more than he could have imagined. Finally placing himself on top of her, he entered her, knowing there was no turning back._

* * *

_**I just wanted to note that this chapter was very poorly written and rushed and I spent days agonizing over how to make it better. I couldn't come up with anything and decided to leave it as it is. I promise that the next chapter will be a whole lot better. As always, reviews are appreciated. **_


	7. Fantasy

Maura walked into her home welcomed by the wonderful smell of Italian food. She walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the kitchen counter watching as Tommy stirred the peppers in the pan.

"Hey babe, how is your sister?" He walked over to her placing a light kiss on her cheek.

"She's doing as well as anyone in her condition can do. I just wish there was something I can do, but all we can do is wait."

Thinking about her sister Maura immediately grew somber. Naturally her mind wondered back to Jane and how grateful she was for the detective being there in her time of need. During her restless night of very little sleep she was troubled by the one question she's wanted to ask Tommy since the two started dating.

"Tommy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, anything."

"Just don't get upset, ok?" She sighed trying to steady her rapidly beating heart.

"If Jane had never found out, would you have told her?" he stopped stirring the spoon for a moment obviously caught off guard by the question.

"No…but I know you would've"

"What do you mean when you say I would've told her?"

"Maura, you're a good person and I know it was killing you inside to be keeping a secret of that magnitude from her"

Maura sighed deeply as she ran her fingers across the counter, "it was killing me. I still don't know why I did that I was so out of it." At the prolonged silence she looked up and saw that Tommy was starring angrily at her.

"Why are you bringing this up?" Maura was quite frightened by this side of Tommy that she had never seen before; well besides the time she told him that she was dating Jane. His eyes were dark, nearly black.

"We never talk about that night."

"I don't see the need." He seethed.

"Well although it may have been the start of our relationship, it ended my marriage. " Tommy threw the spoon his hand causing Maura to jump at the loud bang of it hitting the wall. She stood up, now beginning to fear for her

"Dammit, Maura do you not want me, huh? Am I not good enough? "

Maura, eyes widened with terror as she shook her head, "No that's not true."

"Then why bring it up?" he asks turning back to the food cooking on the stove. Picking up a new spoon from the drawer next to him.

Maura, obviously frightened, thought about her next words carefully. "I tried not to think about, but recently with everything going on I can't help but wonder back to that night. I was really intoxicated and I wasn't myself… I still don't remember even saying yes."

Tommy angry all again, slammed the new spoon onto the counter rattling the pans.

"What are saying huh, that I raped you?"

"I'm not saying that at all."

"Because I didn't. What we did that night was too beautiful to be compared with something as ugly as rape. I didn't beat you up or hold a gun to your head…you know what, fuck this. I'm going to bed."

Maura watched him walk into the bedroom jumping at the loud slam of the door. She walked over to the stove and turned off the burner. She didn't mean to insight such anger in the younger Rizzoli. Sighing she walked into the bedroom where Tommy lay on the bed facing the wall.

She crept onto the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder which he quickly shrugged off. She pulled her hand back as if the contact burned her skin.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you feel bad." She whispered

Tommy turned over to face the doctor.

"Maura, I know that you're marriage ended but I've endured a lot too. I love you and I just wish you would show me some sort of appreciation. "

"I do appreciate you." Tommy sat up, a coy smirk forming. Maura's heart sank at what she knew he had in mind.

"Well then you can show me how much you appreciate me." He wrapped his arms around Maura pulling her down onto the bed, causing her to shriek in surprise.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, but was silenced by his lips covering her. His greedily forced his tongue down her throat and she had no choice but to open her mouth and allow him to do what he wanted. She wounded his ego and she knew by not reacting to his kiss he would only get angrier.

"Don't worry; I'll make sure you're more than satisfied." He smiled darkly reaching down roughly and pulling at her underwear, the loud rip echoing throughout the room. He unzipped his pants quickly smiling down at her eagerly. She didn't feel aroused at all and in a few minutes Tommy would notice too.

'Ok Maura, try and think of someone sexy. Yeah, someone that turns you on.' Maura closed her eyes, sighing deeply as she tried to cultivate a fantasy to spark arousal.

_She watched as the brunette retreated from the shower and walked over to the bed, toned muscle and abs glistening still glistening with water from the shower. Maura recognized the woman but a name wasn't coming to mind. Maura sat up on the bed, leaning on her elbows for support as she watched as she approached the bed. It was almost as if she was watching her walk in slow motion and the anticipation was killing the doctor. Maura reached out, fingers slipping around the woman's waist, tugging her onto the bed and on top of the blonde. The brunette leaned down and brushed her lips against Maura's cheek, then her lips. Maura, still feeling a sense of familiarity couldn't name the woman in her fantasy and only when the mystery brunette spoke was she able to recall the name. _

"_Maura, I've missed you…"_

_It was Jane…._

Maura opened her eyes abruptly, looking up at Tommy whose eyes were closed and his face was filled with pleasure as he continued to thrust into her. Maura's heart beat sped up at the thought of fantasizing about her ex wife. It was wrong, especially because of the fact that she was currently having sex with the detective's brother. However, she was too aroused to stop, so she closed her eyes and continued her fantasy.

_She looked around the room realizing that it was their wedding night. The first night they made love as a married couple. Jane worked her hands into the lace of Maura's panties feeling slick wetness covering her fingers. Maura was moaning now, bucking against Jane's hand as the brunette rubbed her thumb against Maura's clit, and Jane looked down at her wife, smiling at the way the blonde's body reacted, clenching around her fingers in mindless need. _

"_That's right, scream for me."_

Maura's moans turned into one long, insistent sigh of delight as her orgasm approached.

"_Cum for me Mrs. Rizzoli." Hearing Jane's raspy voice, thick with need was all Maura needed to bring her to her peak._

The second wave of Maura's climax brought red sheets of silk and she bit her lower lip trying not to call out Jane's name, bruising the tender flesh. "Oh my God " she cried. Her fingers curled into the blanket and she felt as if she were hitting the rocky shores of a great ocean. Her body convulsed as she came until finally her breathing held and her body stiffened. "Fuck" she yelled and stilled. Tommy who followed not long after collapsed next to her exhausted with a cocky smile on his face.

"I've never had a woman scream as loud as you did."

'_It wasn't for you.' _she thought guiltily. She pulled the cover over her body, hugging it to her chest as she turned onto her side, pretending to fall asleep. She waited until she heard Tommy's light snore before slowly creeping out of the bed and dressing herself once again. In need of someone to talk to, she pulled on her coat and stepped out into the brisk December air. She walked over to the guest house pulling her coat around her tightly. She knocked rapidly, wanting to get out of the cold. After a few minutes a light came on and the door opened.

"Maura? Is something wrong?" Angela asked concerned that the doctor was at her door so late.

"No, nothing's wrong, I just needed someone to talk to." Angela invited her in and told her to sit in the kitchen while she made coffee.

Maura took a seat in the kitchen and waited while Angela brewed coffee. As she waited she tried to think of how to bring up the subject. Angela walked over to where the doctor sat holding two mugs.

"Thanks" she said while accepting the hot cup of coffee from Angela.

"So tell me what's wrong."

"I'm going to break up with Tommy." Maura blurted out.

Angela not seeming the slightest bit surprised continued to sip at her drink. "Why?"

Maura opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Angela, seeing the difficult time she was having placed a reassuring hand on the doctor's arm.

"I won't judge you. Now tell me the real reason why you want to end things with my son."

Maura looked at the older women skeptical of whether or not she should reveal her real reasons. After a few minutes of serious contemplation she decided not to reveal everything.

"Because I don't love him. And honestly, I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with him… What should I do?"

"You know I would never choose between my children."

Maura looked down at her glass solemnly, "I know."

"I still don't understand why you just didn't tell her."

"I planned too, I swear, but then Kayleen convinced me not to. She said, if I didn't plan on doing it ever again, why should I ruin my marriage over it? And I didn't plan on ever sleeping with him again so I decided not to tell her. I never thought that Tommy would be selfish enough to continue to pursue me after the wedding...all of this and I ruined our marriage anyway."

Angela remained quiet, as if she was thinking about her next question.

"Why did you sign the divorce papers?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you give up? Why didn't you fight for Jane?"

"I wasn't going to sign them at first. I was going to fight for my marriage but seeing such a strong women like Jane break down and cry over the pain _I_ caused made me realize that nothing I did would ever make her forget that I was the reason for breaking her heart…"

"But why date Tommy afterwards?"

"Angela, I'm a 35 year old divorced women with a 2 year old son and my ex wife is a cop. Not many people, man or woman, are willing to take on a lover with that much baggage. Tommy… he's a good man… and he loves me."

"Do you love him?"

"No…" Angela wanted to ask her a follow up question but decided against it because something in her already knew the answer.

Neither women spoke afterwards and allowed themselves to sit in a comfortable silence. Maura took another sip of her hot beverage and turned to look out the window as snow begins to fall.


	8. Christmas Time

_**To everyone that reviewed, thank you. I understand some of you feel the reasons Maura gave weren't good enough however I purposely wrote senseless reasons to help show how deep in denial Maura is and that she's punishing herself. I don't want to give away too much, but everything will come to light soon enough.**_

* * *

"Frankie, that's enough." Jane laughed as she watched him stir the eggnog. Frankie dipped his fingers in the mix and flicked some of it onto his sister causing an eggnog war between the two of them.

"You two stop acting like children!" Angela reprimanded taking the pitcher from the two of them. "Frankie can you go get the door, someone just rang the bell." He looked up wanting to ask why Jane couldn't do it but the glare Angela gave him made him close his mouth and obey.

He mumbled his displeasure as he walked over to the door, pulling it open without stopping to ask who was there.

"Oh, it's you." He sighed, walking away from the door. Maura and Tommy both frowned at the retreating Frankie.

"Just ignore him." Tommy said, closing the door behind the two of them. He helped Maura out of her coat and excused himself to go and hang them in the backroom.

Maura walked into the living room where everyone was seated, laughing at Frankie and Jane argue over the football game. Maura sat the large bag of gifts she held next to the tree. Most of them were for her son but she did manage to get everyone at least one gift. William sat on the couch next to them laughing his mother and uncle. At seeing Maura, Jane jumped up to hug her.

"I thought you weren't going to show up." She admitted.

"Well Tommy didn't want to but I wanted to be here for William and see him open his gifts."

Jane placed an arm around Maura's shoulder leading her into the kitchen away from the loud noise. She closed the sliding door leaving them alone. She walked over to Maura taking hold of her hands.

"Maur, I don't want you to think that you're not welcomed here because you are. You are will's Mom so you'll always be family." Maura looked up at the detective, smiling shyly.

"Thank you for making me feel like I haven't completely lost you." Jane reached up, placing a soft hand on Maura's cheek. The two women stared at each other allowing silence to settle between them. Maura, feeling uncomfortable at how close they were, backed away dropping Jane's hands.

The two separated just in time as they heard the door open and Parker walked in.

"Hey babe, everyone's looking for you. You just missed Will do the craziest thing" she explained, trying to contain her laughter.

"Oh, hey Maura."

Maura turned away from the two, suddenly embarrassed and waved back, mumbling hello.

"Frankie was yelling at the television about a fumbled ball and Will got up and started yelling at the television in the exact way Frankie did it. Come look, he's still doing it." Jane looked back at Maura apologetically as she allowed Parker to pull her out the room. Maura took the few minutes to gather herself before walking out of the kitchen to join everyone else. Will was in fact yelling at the television every time Frankie stood up to do so.

She took a seat across from where Parker and Jane were sitting watching Will and laughing. Seeing the two them and their happiness inciting a jealously that Maura knew she had no right to feel. Looking away from the scene, Maura tried to be happy and watched her son.

"Hey babe." Tommy said, taking a seat next to her and placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Maura looked up and could see Jane watching them. For a moment Maura could have sworn she saw a look of jealously in Jane's expression, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"Are you having a good time?" Maura asked, trying to find something to distract her.

"Yeah, I guess. Frankie is still being an asshole but Ma is trying to make me feel welcomed. What about you?"

Maura shrugged, fumbling with her hands.

"I'm having a good time and William is having fun, that's all that matters."

Angela walked into the center of the living room blocking the view of the television,

"It's present time." She announced, turning to shut off the television. "Who wants to go first?"

Parker stood up, "I'll go." She walked over to the tree and picked up a large stack of wrapped gifts. She handed one to Frost, Jane, Maura, Angela and Frankie and watched as they all unwrapped their gifts. Each was a custom painting of each of them. Jane and Maura's paintings were of each of them with William.

"You were right Jane, this looks just like me." Frost pointed out, surveying the canvas he held.

"Yeah, thanks baby. I love it so much." Jane said, leaning over to kiss Parker, eliciting an Aww from everyone in the room. Angela goes over to the tree and picks up a small box, "it's for-Maura." She hands the box to Maura, who looks surprised that gift was actually for her. She looks up to see everyone watching her, including Jane who was hiding sheepishly behind her beer. Maura neatly removed the wrapping unveiling a jewelry box. She opened it slowly to reveal a diamond necklace. She looked up to see who the gift was from and everyone shook their head no except Jane. Maura turned towards her curiously and Jane just shrugged.

"I bought it for our anniversary before everything happened. I actually had forgotten that I had it until I cleaned out desk at work where I had hidden it. Now that we're friends again I feel I can give it to you without everything being weird." Maura was speechless and whispered thank you. Sensing her uneasiness, Angela suggested that Maura present her gifts. She had gotten Jane a custom made watch from Italy and she gave Parker custom made Chinese brushes. Of course Parker loved them and all but jumped on Maura as she hugged her in appreciation. Everyone else finished presenting their presents and then watched Will rip the wrapping off of all of his presents. Seeing her son's face light up at all of the new toys made Maura's heart jump. Following the presents everyone went into the dining room to eat dinner. Maura excused herself to the bathroom to freshen up. She stood at the sink, staring at the necklace that Jane had given her. It was truly beautiful and knew it must have cost Jane a fortune. The sound of the door opening caused her to jump and nearly drop the necklace. Seeing it was just Jane she placed a hand on her head, turning back to face the mirror.

"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you." She said softly walking over to where the blonde stood. Seeing her holding her gift, Jane reached out and placed a hand on top of the doctor's

"Here, let me help you with that." She whispered. Reaching out and taking the piece of jewelry from her she gently placed it around her neck and fastened its clasp. Maura looked up in the mirror, placing her hand on the diamonds. Jane smiled behind her.

"You look beautiful... I knew it would suit you the moment I saw it." Maura closed her eyes, taking in the closeness of the two of them. She couldn't take it anymore. Her emotions went into overdrive and before she could stop herself, she turned in Jane's arms.

"Jane I need to tell you something." Jane was silent, waiting for her to continue.

"Jane, I know I'm with Tommy and you're with Parker but…"

"but?"

"But I lo-" Both women were startled at the loud knocking at the door. Jane separated from Maura and went over to the door opening it just a crack to peak her head out. It was Tommy letting them know dinner was ready. Jane said ok. She looked back at Maura one last time before following Tommy. Maura waited a few seconds to give Tommy enough time to get to the kitchen before walking out the room. The last thing she wanted was for him to catch her alone in the bathroom with Jane.

She stepped out the bathroom touching the necklace one last time before turning to walk towards the kitchen.

"What were you two doing?" Maura jumped at seeing Tommy waiting outside the door hidden in the shadows of the dark hallway.

"Nothing, she was just helping me put the necklace on." Tommy looked at her angrily, not believing her explanation. He reached up touching the necklace,

"I want to buy you nice things Maura, believe me I do. I just can't afford them right now. The least you could do is be patient."

"Tommy I'm not—"

"No Maura, I don't want to hear it. Jane's rubbing the fact that I don't have a job in my face and now you are too. "

Maura was speechless, his insecurities and comparing himself to Jane was beginning to annoy her. His anger was beginning to scare her and because they were in the back of the house, no one could hear them. She tried to walk away to get closer to where everyone else was but he grabbed her arm slamming her against the wall. He reached up snatching the necklace from around Maura's neck throwing it onto the floor. He turned to walk away but was stopped by Maura's cry.

"Why would you do that?" He reached up grabbing her face hard, causing her to wince in pain.

"Don't ever take a thing from her, do you hear me!" Maura didn't respond at first but the pain from Tommy grabbing her chin caused her to shake her head yes.

"Good, now clean yourself up and come to dinner." He looked down at the broken jewelry then back up at her, "And don't pick that up." He walked away leaving Maura alone. The moment she was sure he had gone away, she dropped to her knees and picked up the necklace. Surveying the damage she sighed with relief that it wasn't broken. Nevertheless, she didn't want to give him another chance to break it, she placed the necklace back in its box and went to hide it in her coat. She quickly washed her face and made her way into the kitchen where everyone was waiting for her. She apologized and went to take a seat next to Tommy, which was unfortunately the only empty seat. Angela blessed the food and everyone went to eat. After everyone was full from dinner, Maura offered to help Angela clean up while Jane took William to the bathroom to bathe him. Parker offered to help her.

"I'm going to give him a bath and put him to bed, ok?" Jane explained. Maura slowly nodded, seeing Tommy watching her in her peripheral. Wanting to get from under the watchful eye of him, she grabbed her coat and slipped out into the backyard to be alone. She walked over to the large swing that was tied to a tree and took a seat on its wooden seat. It was cold out and Maura was grateful that she had opted to wear the coat she had decided on at the last minute. She didn't hear Jane approaching her and feeling the detective take a seat next to her and wrap a comforting arm around her felt nice, considering all that she was dealing with. Maura allowed Jane to hold her, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to be alone."

Jane chuckled, reaching down with her other arm to grab hold of Maura's hand. "I bet, Tommy was all over you in there."

"He loves me, and just wants to be near me. "

"But all of the time? I'm surprised he hasn't moved in with you yet."

"He has asked but I've said no."

Jane looked down at her,

"Hey, as much as I hate that asshole and I still don't understand why you're even with him, if he makes you happy then you should do it. You deserve to be happy. Don't be afraid to put your heart out there again. God knows I did and I found Parker. And look, I'm happy." Jane looked out into the distance, smiling to herself at the thought of her girlfriend. Maura sat up straight, turning to look at Jane,

"Are you really?" _Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this._

Jane was silent, her gaze burning into Maura trying to read her. Jane opens her mouth hesitating to speak before closing it.

"Yes…I am"

Maura's heart drops as she stands up. Tightening her coat around her body, she runs a hand through her hair before returning to the house, not wanting Jane to see her cry from the pain of her heart breaking.

* * *

_**I know Tommy may come off as a psycho jerk but he loves Maura and because she still loves Jane, it has turned his rivalry with his sister into a deep hatred. As always review and the next chapter will be up soon.**_


	9. The Right Thing VS The Smart Thing

_**First I want to begin this chapter by saying I was in no way trying to excuse what Tommy did I was instead trying to explain the reasons behind writing him the way I did I should have been more descriptive in my explanation so I'm sorry for the confusion. I hope everyone enjoys this.**_

* * *

Jane stood at the board trying to find anything to connect the three women who had been murdered by a serial rapists and murderer. Seeing each of the women's photos side by side with their cut up mutilated faces only fueled a fire burning in Jane to catch the bastard.

"Hey, Jane!" she turned around to see Frost running into the bullpen carrying a folder full of pictures.

"I think we have a name." Frost walked over to the computer pulling up a picture on the large monitor in front of Jane. "Do you remember that call we responded to at the hospital the other day. It was for a woman who came in with her two year old son because her boyfriend was abusing her." Jane was silent for a moment trying to think back to a couple of days ago,

"_Shouldn't sex crimes be handling this?" Frost questioned trying to finish the sandwich in his hand. Both were out for a late lunch/early dinner when they got the call. _

"_Stop complaining, a friend of mine over at SVU was busy with an open case and asked me to pick it up since we were in the area." She explained as she pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. The two detectives walked into the hospital and asked to speak with Dr. Errico; he had been the one to call it in. They were directed to follow the nurse down the hall. They were brought to a room at the far end of the hallway. The moment Jane stepped into the room she was nearly run over by a little boy who was pushing a toy truck. _

"_Harry, stop that. Oh look you nearly hurt the poor woman." Jane smiled sympathetically at the bruised woman sitting on the bed. Jane kneeled down so that she was eye level with the little boy._

"_It's no problem, I have son who's his age. When they start walking it's hard to get em to stop. "_

"_What's your name?"_

"_Harry. What's yours?"_

"_I'm Jane."_

_She stood up and walked over to the mother with Frost following behind. "Are you Kimberly Harrison?" she questioned as she pulled out her badge._

"_I'm Detective Rizzoli and this is my partner Detective Frost. Now before you get upset at your doctor, I just thought I'd let you know that this hospital is required to report any cases of assault or domestic abuse to the police." She explained seeing how angry the woman had become at finding out the two were cops._

"_I know, it's just that I took a big chance coming here…he'd kill me if he found out." She somberly confessed. _

"_Mommy, I'm hungry!" Jane turned around smiling at the little boy who had grown tired of his fire truck. He reminded her so much of William, they both had blonde hair and the same brown eyes. Not to mention they both were constantly running around. _

"_I'm so sorry; we both have been here for hours and didn't get a chance to eat."_

"_How about I take him down to the cafeteria while Detective Frost finishes up with you." Kimberly sighed with relief. _

"_Ok, just know that he's allergic to nuts." Jane smiled, William is allergic to nuts. Jane walked down the hall, holding the hand of the little boy. As they walked to the cafeteria and ordered dinner for he and his mother, Harry began to open up to the woman asking her if she liked cars. _

_They took a seat in the back of the cafeteria and Jane sat watching the little boy eat. He was a splitting image of her son, except he was a little older and could talk more. _

"_My mommy says one day I can get a gigantic fire truck and it'll be this big." He exclaimed flailing his hands to emphasize the size of the truck. _

"_Well, you wanna know a secret Harry?" she whispered. Harry, with a French fry hanging out of his mouth, nodded his head yes. Jane looked around to make sure no one was looking, adding to the effect of it being a secret, before leaning in to whisper, _

"_A bunch of my friends are firefighters and they own gigantic fire trucks."_

"_Really?" he exclaimed with wide eyes._

"_Yup and I'm sure they wouldn't mind letting you ride in one, but only if you're mommy says you've been a good boy."_

"_Ok. I'll make sure I pick up all my toys tonight." Jane burst out laughing at Harry who just continued eating, smiling back at her. _

"Yeah I remember them, Kimberly and Harry. Why? Did she finally leave that prick of a boyfriend?"

"No, that's why I came in here." Frost pointed to the guy on the monitor,

"This guy is her boyfriend, his name is Jonathan Kelly."

"What makes you think this is our guy?" Jane had to admit she was excited to finally have a name to match to these gruesome crimes.

"Well, Kimberly confessed to her sister that she thinks he's the one who's been doing all the killings that she read about in the newspaper because he owns that rare hunting knife we've been looking for. Her sister went by the house today to take her to the police station but found the house wrecked and her sister and nephew nowhere to be found. "Jane walked over to Frost, her heart racing trying not to think the worse. If it were true and Johnathan Kelly was their guy she prayed to God that he wouldn't hurt them and most of all she prayed he wouldn't hurt Harry.

"Do we have an address on this guy?"

"Nope, he has no record except for a few unpaid parking tickets and all of his mail goes to a P.O box. "

"Where?"

"Williamstown."

"It'll take us forever to search that entire town. There's no telling where he's hiding there, if he's there at all."

"Well he does have a cabin there that was left to him by a great Aunt in her will."

Jane ran over to her desk grabbing her jacket and her gun.

"Well let's go."

The entire ride to Williamstown was a silent and tense one. Along the way Jane and Frost put on bullet proof vests. She wanted to call for backup but decided against it, they didn't want to alert him of their presence there.

They arrived there in a little under three hours, it would have been longer if Frost hadn't put on his siren and speeded down the interstate. They decided against driving all the way up to the cabin because of the snow on the ground. The sound of it crunching under their tires would alert anyone inside the cabin. Instead they met with the county sheriff at the bottom of the hill and walked the rest of the way. There were no cars in the driveway but there were tire marks in the fresh snow,

"He's been here." Jane pointed out as she led the group to the front door.

"On your count."Frost whispered. She nodded as she counted quietly to three.

"1…2…3" as she spoke the final number he kicked the door in, his gun coming up quickly. He walked into the cabin, surveying the room.

"It's clear." he announced. Jane and the sheriff followed her into the house. Jane quietly walked up the stairs, pointing her gun in front of her. As she stepped onto the second floor she noticed the door at the end of the hallway. It was slightly ajar and the light was on. She slowly approached the room, signaling for everyone to follow her. She reached out to the door praying that Kimberly was here and safe. She tightened her hand on her gun before opening the door.

"Oh god." Jane exclaimed at the scene in front of her. Kimberly lay, tied to the bed with a deep cut from the right to the left side of her throat. Jane slowly walked closer to the door, faint sounds of Frost telling the sheriff to call for backup and an ambulance in her ear. The blood was still pooling from her wound…Jane knew he had killed her recently. Her heart ached at the sight of the dead woman in front of her. Then suddenly she remembered,

"Harry!" she fell to her knees looking under the bed and around the room for any sight of the little boy. Then she saw the closed door at the far end of the room. She walked over to it and opened the door. It was a bathroom. She felt against the wall for a light switch. She called out the toddler's name as she flipped on the light.

"Frost!" she yelled running over to the bathtub, pulling the little boy from the bloody water. He had dark hand marks around his neck and his lips and skin were pale. She laid the little boy on the hard tile floor feeling desperately for a pulse in the crook of his neck.

_No, this isn't happening. _

"Come on Harry, wake up." She pleaded as she began to perform CPR on the cold body. Frost walked into the room and saw Jane leaning over the little boy blowing air into his mouth as she held his nose. He pulled out his radio and yelled into the receiver to rush the bus.

"We have two victims, we need a bus NOW!" He watched Jane's desperate attempts to breathe air back into the little boy.

"1-2-3-4" Jane's eyes were over flowing with tears but Jane didn't stop to wipe the tears that were beginning to cloud her vision. Frost slowly approached her placing a hand onto hers to stop them from moving.

"He's gone Jane." Jane wiped at her eyes with one hand, the other not stopping the chest compressions.

"No he's not. Just let me finish." She leaned down to breathe into this mouth again.

"Jane." Frost grabbed her arms, more forcefully this time,

"He's gone Jane. Just let him go."Jane sat defeated as she held Harry's lifeless body in arms. She drew him closer to her as she whimpered.

She had just been with the little boy two days ago and they laughed about fire trucks. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

The sherrif crept into the bathroom where the two sat. "You guys, I think he's back. I just heard the front door slam." Jane stood up immediately, her sorrow quickly being replaced with anger. She grabbed her gun from where she had dropped it by the bed and waited by the door. She signaled for Frost and The sheriff to get on the other side of the door. The moment the door opened and Johnathan stepped through the door, Jane pistol whipped him, knocking him down to the ground.

"What the fuck!" he screamed holding his head as blood gushed from the wound on his head. He tried to stand but before he was met with the barrel of Jane's gun which she had positioned between his eyes.

"You fucker!" Jane seethed, holding her gun. At that moment she didn't think about being a cop or losing her badge. All that she could hear was Harry's laughter and the fact that it could have been William. She tightened her finger around the trigger and prepared to pull it but the sound of Frost's voice in her air telling her that he wasn't worth it made her slowly drop her gun. The moment she did, Frost handcuffed Johnathan and instructed the Sherriff to put him in the squad car.

"I was going to kill him Frost." She whispered, looking over at Kimberly's dead body.

"I know." He sighed. Jane turned to face Frost, trying to hide her face behind her hair. No matter how upset she was she couldn't let Frost see her cry. She placed her gun in his hands and turned to walk out the door, not bothering to wait for the ME's office or IAB to arrive.

Not long after he watched Jane take off, the Medical Examiner's office arrived. He met them at the door, walking up to Maura as she stepped out of her car.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"It's pretty bad in there. Jane's taking it pretty hard."

"Where is she?"

"She just gave me her gun and left." Maura's worry was obvious to Frost and he knew it wasn't only because Jane was Maura's friend. However, he decided to be quiet and let Maura do her job.

* * *

Maura didn't make it home until nearly 10 that night. She had to call Angela and ask her to pick up William from daycare. When she got home she walked over to the guesthouse to pick up her son. Luckily he was asleep and all Maura had to do was bring him back to the main house and lay him in his crib. After making sure he was secure in his crib and sleeping soundly she walked into the kitchen.

Today was a very trying day for Maura. She poured herself a glass of wine and took a seat in her kitchen not really thinking about anything, just allowing her mind to go blank. Of all of the bodies she's ever had to cut open, cutting open the body of a boy as little as Harold was very difficult for her. She must have sat there for nearly two hours in silence just thinking about the crime scene before she was pulled from her reverie by her phone ringing. She walked into the living room, picking up the phone that sat on the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hey Maura. It's Parker. "I just wanted to know if you've seen Jane?"

"Um…No, I haven't, I haven't seen her since she and Frost left the precinct this morning. Is everything ok?"

"I'm just worried. It's near midnight and she still hasn't come home. She's not answering her phone and no one knows where she is."

Now Maura was starting to worry. It was unlike Jane to completely disappear without at least one person knowing where she is.

"I'm sorry Parker, but she hasn't been here. I'll stay up and wait by the phone in case she comes by. If she calls me I promise I'll let you know." She could hear her sigh on the other line.

"Thank you so much."

"No problem." And she hung up. Maura dialed Jane's cell phone number but it went straight to voicemail. She really hoped Jane hadn't done something stupid that would injure her. However, she knew Jane and knew that the detective knew how to take care of herself. She probably wanted time to herself. Maura knows better than anyone else how much Jane hates others seeing her cry, Maura reasoned that she probably wanted to be alone to deal with everything she had seen today. Maura took a long shower and dressed her pajamas and just as she was about to go into her room the loud sound of knocking stopped her.

She walked over to her closet and grabbed her robe to cover her body since she was only wearing a silk chemise and walked out into the living room. Wrapping it around her and tying the belt, Maura opened the door. Maura was surprised to see Jane standing on her doorstep cradling a Jack Daniel's bottle, trying to keep herself from falling over. Maura had to admit, she was shocked at Jane's disheveled appearance. She was obviously drunk and she hadn't even bothered to change her clothes that were blood stained.

"Jane—"Maura called out as she watched the detective storm past her and down the hall to where William slept. Maura, confused by Jane's actions, took a seat on the couch waiting for Jane to return. Not long after she could hear Jane bumping into various things in the hallway as she made her way back to where Maura sat.

"I just wanted to make sure he was there." She mumbled.

Maura stood up very concerned over how Jane was acting.

"Jane, are you—"

"Don't Maura. I only came here because I just don't want to trouble Parker with what I saw today... Just let me be, please." Maura took a step back, visibly hurt by Jane's harsh choice of words. She silently nodded and took a seat back on the couch, allowing Jane to walk past her into the kitchen, to take a seat at the center kitchen counter.

The two sat in silence for several minutes. As Maura sat with her back turned towards Jane the sound of her tears hitting the granite counter told her the detective was crying. Maura dared turn around to sneak a look at her and the sight broke her heart. Jane sat with her head on her arms, sitting up every so often to take a sip of the amber liquid from its bottle. Maura waited until she saw Jane put her head down before walking over to her and placing a soothing arm on her back. Jane looked up at her through puffy eyes with several tears streaming down her face, some falling off the tip of her nose.

"I tried to save him Maura. I swear I did!" she cried allowing her head to fall back onto her arms. Maura rubbed her back soothingly as Jane's body shook from emotion.

Jane stood up allowing Maura, for the first time see just how much the little boy was affecting her. Jane paced for a few minutes, and all Maura could do was wait and try not to break down too. Jane needed her right now and she had to be there for her.

"I-I pulled him out of the tub and he was so c-c-c-cold Maura." She used the back of her hand to wipe at the tears. "But I still tried Maur, I did CPR over and over again but he wouldn't breath" Maura watched as Jane put her hands out as if she was doing chest compressions on an invisible body in front of her before her hands bawled up into fists" … he wouldn't breath." She cried, falling into Maura's awaiting arms. Jane held onto Maura tighter and tighter, bawling the material of her robe into her fists as her tears made small puddles on the doctor's shoulders.

"Jane, it's not your fault. He was gone long before you got there." Jane was silent for a moment, just allowing Maura to hold her.

"You're the only person I've ever let see me cry." She whispered into Maura's ear.

"And I'll never think any less of you because of it."

Jane leaned up to look at her, their eyes locking in an intense gaze. Maura was feeling weak under the stare of the detective and tried to back away but strong arms held her to the detective's body. It was becoming too much for Maura so she closed her eyes.

"Jane…" she breathed feeling the softness of Jane's lips on her own. Their lips touched and she inhaled the scent of Jane's perfume mixed with the strong smell of jack. Maura's heart fluttered as her fingers slid up to grip Jane's arms as she melted into her. She felt Jane's tongue slip out and when it touched her lips, she gasped from the surprise, but she opened her mouth willingly.

Jane placed a hand on Maura's butt, lifting the doctor off the ground and placing her on the counter. She pushed deeply into her as she forced her tongue into Maura's awaiting mouth. They battled, both wanting to feast on what they had denied themselves. Maura clung to her as her head twisted to the right then the left. Maura couldn't stop the loud moan as she felt Jane's fingers find the hem of her nightie and push it up. The sensation of Jane's fingers inching up her thighs closer and closer to her center made her squirm under the touch of the detective. But just like that, it was over. Jane pulled away from Maura, stepping away from her.

"I-I can't do this, I can't hurt her." She walked over to the table picking up her bottle and walked to the door. Maura jumped down, fixing her chemise, as she chased after Jane grabbing her arm before she could walk out the door.

"Jane, you can't drive in this condition." Jane turned around shoving the Jack Daniels bottle in Maura's arms.

"Just—just leave me alone." She pulled free from Maura's grasp and walked away. Maura watched with tear filled eyes as Jane drove away. She slowly closed the door staring down at the bottle in her hands. She angrily threw the bottle of alcohol at the wall watching as it shattered and spilled to the floor. She slid down the wall, crying knowing she had blown any chance at reuniting with Jane by kissing her tonight.

* * *

Parker jumped up at the sound of the door slamming. She looked over at the clock on the wall and saw it was 2:47 in the morning. She ran into the living room praying that Jane had finally come home and when she saw her walk through the door she sighed with relief.

"God, I'm so glad you're home. I was so worried." She walked over to the detective and helped her over to the couch. She helped Jane out of her bloody clothes and into the shower, not once questioning her or the state she was in. After Jane had showered and successfully removed the strong smell of whiskey from her hair and body she changed into a t shirt and shorts and returned to the couch where Parker was waiting with a glass of water and two Tylenol. Jane sat and as she took the pills, washing them down with the cold water she allowed Parker to lightly push the hair that had fallen into her face behind her ears.

"I don't know what happened today, but just know I'm here if and when you're ready."

Jane sighed, sitting the glass on the table.

"I know."

The small action of not forcing her to talk spoke volumes about how much the painter cared about her and she knew she couldn't lie to her about what she had done tonight.

"I kissed her." She whispered.

At first Jane wasn't sure if Parker heard her because the painter didn't move or speak. Finally after a few minutes Jane took the risk of looking at her. Her eyes were glistening as she looked at Jane with a look of great disappointment. She wiped at the one tear that fell and stood up.

Jane immediately reached out and grabbed her arm but Parker just pulled free before walking away from the detective into the bedroom slamming the door behind her. Jane wanted to follow her but decided against it to give her some time to think. Jane sat back down on the couch, she knew the right thing was to tell Parker right away instead of lying to her but seeing the look of hurt on her face made Jane question whether or not the right thing is always the smart thing to do when it comes to someone you love.

* * *

_**This is nowhere near the end but I just thought I ask this question now. I know I said this would be Rizzles eventually, however, because of the great amount of people who've said they actually like seeing Jane and Parker together I have no problem changing the ending so that they stay together. Let me know how you want this to end: Jane and Maura or Jane and Parker. **_


	10. The Right Thing vs The Smart Thing Pt 2

Jane opened her eyes, instinctively reaching over for Parker. When she saw that her girlfriend wasn't lying beside her, Jane sat up. She looked over at her alarm clock and saw that it was near 7 and that she had to start getting ready for work. She quickly showered and got dressed wanting time to catch Parker at the museum if she had already left for work.

"Where in the hell are my keys?" she mumbled to herself as she searched through the several papers and magazines on the coffee table.

"They're in the bowl by the door." Jane looked up at Parker who stood in the kitchen placing several things into her art bag. The blonde hadn't even bothered to turn towards her. Jane slowly walked over to where she stood, abandoning the search for her keys.

"Parker." She whispered reaching out to grab her hand only to have her hand pushed away.

"Don't touch me, please." She demanded calmly and continued to place brushes in the bag.

"I'm sorry." Jane said, desperate to get her to look up at her. "Can we please talk about this?"

Parker stopped moving, and stood there silently with her head still down.

"I can't share you." She finally spoke after some time.

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do. God Jane! You still love her!" Parker screamed looking up finally to reveal that she'd been crying.

"You were hurting last night and instead of coming to me you went to her for comfort." She wiped at her eyes and tried to walk away but Jane grabbed her from behind, and wrapped her arms around her to stop her from leaving. She was desperate now but she couldn't let her leave. She was going to fight for her.

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I want you and only you?" Jane hadn't even noticed she began to tear up until she heard her voice crack with emotion. She quickly wiped away the tears.

Parker, on the other hand, didn't care if Jane saw her cry because she wanted the detective to know how much she was hurting right now.

"There's nothing you can do." She said, wiping away a few tears as she grabbed her bag off the table. She walked to the door and as she prepared to open the door Jane screamed out,

"Marry me!" Parker stopped, slowly turning around to face Jane. She shook her head,

"No." Jane stayed silent. She didn't know how to respond to the rejection and just stood there waiting for Parker to explain.

"Jane, I really didn't question your relationship with Maura because I had no reason to. I'm not envious of how close you are or the fact that you were once married, but by kissing her last night you proved you still have some feelings for her."

"No, I don't. I was drunk and I was crying about the case. She was there." Jane tried to frantically explain.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Parker asked somewhat hurt that Jane didn't trust her enough to come to her in her time of need.

"Because …" Jane sighed, running a hand through her hair. The thought of what happened to Harry was making her emotional all over again but she couldn't cry about that now. "The things I saw yesterday I never want you to experience… I don't want to burden you with the terrible world I see."

"Well I'm a big girl. I know how terrible some people are. You should learn to trust me."

"I am. I'm trusting you with my heart by asking you to marry me." Parker dropped her bag, slowly walking over to where the detective stood.

"Why? Why now?"

"Because I love you."

"That's not a good enough reason. How do I know you aren't only proposing because I'm mad at you?"

Jane chuckled, running her hands through her hair once again.

"If that were the case I would have proposed every time you yelled at me for drinking out of the milk carton." She became silent when she realized that Parker wasn't laughing with her and that she still wore a serious expression. Jane reached out and pulled Parker into her arms.

"I realized last night that going to bed without you in my arms and waking up the same way isn't the way I want to live my life. You fit in my life perfectly and I want you in my life permanently. I love you." Parker was silent, anger still evident on her face before a smile slowly replaced it.

"Yes."

"Yes? You'll marry me?"

"Yes I'll marry you." She shrieked in surprised as she was lifted off the ground and spun around as Jane kissed her. The detective carried her into the bedroom, not breaking the kiss. She could feel Parker smiling against her lips and couldn't help but smile too.

She laid her down gently on the bed, straddling her waist as she leaned down to kiss her once again, but this time more slowly and sensually.

"Wait, what are you doing?" she asked breaking the kiss when she saw Parker reaching over for the phone.

"I'm calling the precinct. You're calling in sick so we can celebrate." Jane sat up, smiling as she forced out a fake cough.

"It must be the cold weather."

* * *

Maura walked into the bullpen looking for Jane. Maura's smile faltered a little at the empty desk. She walked over to Frost who was on the phone and waited patiently until he finished his call.

"So what's the real reason she can't come in?"

"_Oh just a recent engagement." Parker said trying to stifle a laugh. _

Maura sees Frost laugh into the receiver before telling the person on the other end congratulations. He hung up the phone and turned towards Maura.

"Hey, Maura."

"Hey Barry. Have you seen Jane? It's near nine o'clock. She should be here by now."

Frost looks at his phone and smiles. He still couldn't believe what he was just told.

"You didn't hear the good news? Jane proposed this morning."

Maura felt her heart splinter at the thought of Jane marrying Parker. _'I'm too late.' _She couldn't let Frost see that it was affecting her so she faked enthusiasm and walked to the elevator to retreat to the safety of her office where she could cry privately.

Frost had to give the doctor some credit; her facial expression didn't change a bit at the news although he knew her heart had shattered. Watching her walk away after thanking him gave him ambivalent feelings towards the news. One, he was really happy for Parker and Jane because he genuinely liked Parker but on the other hand, he knew Maura made a mistake and was paying for it dearly. As he turned back to his computer he hoped that Jane and Maura have time to figure out what is they want before the time comes for Jane to walk down the aisle.

* * *

_**Very short but only because it's a continuation of the last chapter. The next one will be up in a couple of hours. **_


	11. Denial

Maura walked into the hospital stopping at the front desk to sign in. She stuck the visitor sticker on her shirt as she made her way to room 207 carrying an overnight bag for her sister. She stopped at the door, trying to put on a happy face to mask all of the hurt she was feeling at the moment. It had been a few days since hearing about Jane's engagement. She really didn't know what hurt most, the fact that Jane is getting married or the fact that it was Jane who proposed. It was something about Jane asking that question to anyone but her made her heart ache. After spending that entire night ignoring calls from Tommy and Jane while she cried, she called in sick for the week, knowing she couldn't face Jane at work. Of course the brunette came by Maura's house to check on her but Maura didn't answer the door. After a few days of stopping by Jane stopped coming by because she knew what was hurting her friend, she would have to be blind not to know. Taking a deep breath and exhaling deeply she opened the door, putting on the biggest smile she could foster for her sister.

"Oh thank God you're here. After mom left I was pulling my hair out from boredom. Well at least what's left of it." she laughed, trying to lightened the mood in the room.

Maura chuckled placing the bag by the door before walking over to her sister and hugging her. Feeling how thin Kayleen was in her arms made her sister's situation all the more real to Maura. Her sister was dying and with everything that was happening in her life, she really needed her here.

"Sorry I've haven't been by to visit you but" she sighed deeply, "A lot has been going on." Kayleen waved a pale hand telling Maura not to worry about it and to come take a seat next to her on the bed.

"Tell me all about it because I have nothing but time anyway."

Maura smiled sadly at her sister, as she took a seat on the hospital bed next to her. She held Kayleen's hand, looking down at the IV that was connected to the vein on its surface and began to relay everything that had occurred in the past weeks from Tommy's abuse to Jane getting married. Being able to tell someone how she felt about everything was a great relief for Maura and she felt as if she no longer had to carry around the burden of sadness. She was grateful to her sister for staying quiet and allowing her to talk and express how she felt without judgment. However, Maura held back on how she felt about Jane, she didn't see the point because it was quiet obvious that Jane didn't feel the same way and the thought saddened her tremendously.

As if reading her mind, Kayleen tightened her grasp on Maura's hand and said "Well you should tell her how you feel." Maura looked up surprised but before she could ask how Kayleen knew she continued.

"Maura, I refuse to sit by and watch you punish yourself over some drunken mistake. Jane's getting _married_ it's not like casual dating or having girlfriend. It's marriage, a long term thing, maybe even permanent and your window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller. You have 6 or 7 months to get your act together and tell her because the more time that passes the harder it will be, for you and her."

Maura slowly stood up and walked over to the window looking out at the view of downtown Boston.

"I can't… I broke her heart, I don't deserve another chance. I lost my chance as her wife the moment I slept with Tommy." She explained a she turned around to face her sister who was fumbling with the wire of her IV.

"Maura… have you ever considered that you might've been raped?"

Maura's eyes widened as she shook her head several times in denial.

"No I wasn't raped…Tommy didn't rape me, he said so himself." Seeing how upset Maura was getting, Kayleen was regretting bringing up the topic but she knew it had to be discussed so she continued to push the subject.

"Yeah and what rapist would admit to doing so? It would explain why you were feeling the way you were and couldn't remember anything. Maura you're a smart girl, a genius in fact, c'mon you haven't considered once the possibility that he slipped something in your drink?"

"No!" Maura yelled. Kayleen was a little taken aback at her outburst but seeing her sister cry told her that although she was saying no, she didn't truly believe it.

"I wasn't raped ok? I had a lot to drink; I was drunk, not drugged." She turned back to the window repeating that she wasn't raped over and over again. It seemed as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Kayleen. She stood up and walked over to her sister wrapping an arm around her to comfort her but Maura just stepped away from her arms grabbing her purse off the bed.

"I need to go."

_I wasn't raped. I wasn't raped. I wasn't raped. _ She repeated the mantra in her head as she made her way to the door.

"You can avoid it all you want but Maura you _were_ raped. Maybe you should talk to someone, even if it's our mother." Maura didn't turn around and continued to walk away.

"I'll be back when I can."

And without giving Kayleen a chance to convince her to stay she walked out the door.

* * *

"Ahh c'mon, catch the damn ball." Jane yelled at the TV screen, disappointed at the dropped ball. She had the day off and all she wanted to do was stay home with her dog and fiancée and watch football. Unfortunately for Jane, her team was losing and Parker had to go into work for some presentation. Joe Friday jumped down from the couch and ran over to the door at the sound of the lock being turned. Jane placed her beer on the coffee table in front of her and walked over to the door to greet her fiancée. Parker quickly closed the door behind her, dropping her art bag on the floor leaning in to kiss Jane.

"Wow, someone's excited" she chuckled, breaking the kiss. Parker nodded her head as she kicked off her heels.

"Yup. You know that big presentation I had to do today? Well there were some high powered curators there and one of them said they loved the work I was doing at the museum and would love to have me at their museum. That means more valuable art work, more money and a higher position." Jane wrapped her arms around Parker's waist, kissing her once again.

"Wow, that's great. Which museum is it?" Jane asked in between kisses.

"The Philadelphia Museum of Art." Parker exclaimed kissing Jane again. However, this time Jane wasn't as receptive.

"The Philadelphia Museum of Art, as in Pennsylvania?"

Parker excitement immediately halted. This was the one thing she dreaded telling the detective.

"Yes, it would require me to move to Pennsylvania."

"And you accepted the position?" Jane walked away from the blonde, obviously upset.

"I told him I would call him." Parker walked over to Jane, grabbing her hand.

"Do you plan on accepting?"

Parker was silent for a while. She hadn't actually thought about whether or not she would say yes if Jane didn't want to go. However this opportunity was too big for her to pass up on.

"Yes…This is a great opportunity for me I just wish you would be happy for me instead of yelling at me"

"I'm not yelling at you." She seethed trying to contain her anger.

"Hey, it's not all bad. It's only 5 hours from here by car, even shorter by train. You won't be far from your family." She tried to reassure Jane but she wouldn't listen.

"Why didn't you talk to me about this first?"Jane yelled

"Because it just happened today. I didn't know the curator for that museum would be there and he asked me."

"When would you start?"

Parker had never seen Jane as angry as she was, she knew Jane would never physically hurt her but she was scared nevertheless. She timidly answered,

"Two weeks." Jane's eyes widened in anger.

"Two weeks! You expect me to just pack up my entire life here in Boston and leave with you in two weeks?" Parker took a seat on the couch as she watched Jane pace back and forth in front of her. She sat silently waiting for her to calm down but she continued to pace until she suddenly stopped.

"I have a life here Parker. My family's here, William's here. I can't leave Maura…for William's sake."

At the mention of Maura she stood up. Hearing Jane finally admit her true reasons, whether intentional or not for not wanting to go made her upset. She shook her head feeling stupid for actually believing Jane when she said she was over Maura.

"Why can't you let her go?"

"Not this again" Jane rolled her eyes, dropping her hands to her sides in frustration. "I don't want Maura. She's not the one I'm marrying, you are."

"Then why won't you leave with me?"

"Because it would be extremely selfish to force William to live so far away from his mother. He needs to be near Maura." She explained, frustrated by Parker's accusations.

"He needs to be near Maura or do you need to?" Jane turned around, confused by her question.

"What are you saying?"

"I've never been insecure of our relationship until you resumed your friendship with Maura again. Just let her go, she has Tommy. Let them have their own life."

For some reason, Parker's request made Jane wince. For some reason, the thought of Maura being in a serious relationship with her brother hurt to think about. She didn't care about their relationship before because she knew Maura didn't really love him.

Jane looked up at Parker, asking her to repeat the question. She had been so lost in her thoughts about Maura and Tommy that she wasn't listening to her at all.

"So which is it?"

"Which is what?"

Parker sighed. She hated being the bad guy, and hated Jane even more for making her look like the awful insecure girlfriend, but if anything, she was this way because of Jane and her attachment to her ex wife. However, she needed to know. If she was going to go through with this marriage, she needed to know.

"Do you want to stay here in Boston so that William can be close to Maura or do you want to say in Boston so that _you_ can be close to Maura?" If Jane confirmed the former or denied the latter, she would believe her and never ask the question again but Jane hesitated and that hesitation was all the answer Parker needed.

"When we started dating we promised each other that if we ever broke up, no matter how much we were hurting, we needed to force ourselves to fight for our friendship because that is what we were first. Parker, Maura is my best friend. I cannot leave her."

Jane didn't know whether or not Parker would call off the engagement, she would be devastated if she did, but she made a promise to Maura long before she ever met Parker, and she needed to keep it.

"I'll go stay with my mother for the night."

She walked over to the closet, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her coat. As she put on her coat and stepped out the door, she looked back solemnly at her fiancée who continued to cry, her eyes pleading with her to stay. As much as she wanted to turn around and kiss away her pain she couldn't. If Parker wanted her, she had to accept all of her, and unfortunately for Parker, that included her best friend, Maura. Taking once last glance back, regret heavy on her heart, she closed the door.

* * *

_**I said I would finish this story before I went back to school which is in about 9 days and I plan to stick to that deadline. I still have close to nine chapters left in this story, so I'll begin to update more frequently. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and review. Another chapter will be up tomorrow, although I'm not sure what time.**_


	12. The Truth Revealed

As Jane walked into the precinct she had to admit that she was happy. She said good morning to Frost before walking over to the elevator pressing the button for the morgue. After she left her house last night she drove around for a few hours to calm down. She didn't really want to talk with her mother so she wasted time on the freeway driving for several miles before finding herself on Korsak's couch. Although she didn't like some of the things he said, she knew he was right.

_Jane took off her coat and sat down on the couch while Korsak went into the kitchen to get her a bottle of water. He returned a few minutes later, handing the bottle to her and taking a seat on the chair across from her. _

"_Not that I don't mind you being here but it's late, so what do you want?" he asked chuckling at her._

_Jane took a sip of her water as she replayed everything that happened a few hours earlier in her mind. She sighed, not really knowing where to begin._

"_Parker's calling off the engagement." She didn't know that for sure but after the way Jane acted, she wouldn't be surprised if the painter went to Philadelphia leaving her behind._

"_What? Why?" Korsak was a big supporter of the two since they had started dating and knew it would be a matter of time before Jane popped the big question. To now here that it might not happen was upsetting to the detective._

"_She got this big promotion at work. These curators from the Philadelphia Museum of Art invited her to work there, and we got into an argument over it."_

"_I don't see the problem here. You should be happy for her."_

"_I am, you don't think I'm happy that my girlfriend will get a chance of working her dream job?"_

"_Then what's the problem?" _

"_I don't want to go and she does."_

"_Well, what's keeping you?"_

"_For one, William. I am not his only mother, Maura and I share custody of him. I don't want to be too far away from him, which is what I would be if I left with Parker and I would hate to take him so far away from Maura."_

"_Oh c'mon Jane, Philly's not more than a few hours from here. So what's your real reason?"_

_Jane stayed silent allowing the water bottle in her hand to distract her. _

"_It's Maura isn't it?"_

"_So what if it is." Jane didn't look up from the bottle not wanting to see the disappointing look she knew Korsak was giving her._

"_Did you tell her that Maura's the reason you want to stay?" _

_He sighed in frustration when Jane nodded._

"_Jane you can't be this stupid!" he yelled, standing up. Jane looked up, highly offended at being called stupid. She didn't come here to be yelled at, he was supposed to be on her side, but it was obvious he was siding with her girlfriend._

"_Jane, you have a good woman at home who loves you. More than that awful ex-wife who you can't let go of."_

"_No, don't talk about Maura that way. I don't even know why you hate her, or anyone else for that matter. She cheated on me, not you or Frankie or Ma. Everyone should stop crucifying her for something that's none of their damn business."_

_Vince shook his head, of course Jane would defend the doctor._

"_That's exactly my point Jane. She hurt you… Frankie, Angela, we all care about you and we saw how broken you were over her cheating. You may say we're crucifying her, but she put herself on that cross. " _

_Jane shook her head as she returned to her seat._

"_Jane, look, I'm trying to do what's best for you. It's obvious you love Parker and it's obvious she loves you. But you have to stop putting her in a position where she has to question your love for her. I'm sorry to say it but you have to choose: You're old life here with Maura or the great life you have now and can have in Philadelphia." _

_After talking for a few more hours with Vince, she left and drove back home, not sure of whether or not it was to makeup or breakup with Parker. When she pulled into the driveway she saw that all the lights were off, including the bedroom light. Whenever they had a fight and Jane left, Parker would always leave the bedroom light on staying up all night until Jane returned so that they could makeup. Seeing that the light was off told her that Parker had gone to bed and in essence, given up. Jane shut off her car and got out, walking up to the door. _

_She walked into her house and nearly tripped over Parker's art bag. For a moment it reminded her of all the countless times she tripped over Bass. She locked the door and walked up the stairs, trying not to wake Parker as she made her way down the hallway. She quietly opened the bedroom door and looked in. Parker was asleep, although she didn't look as peaceful as she normally did when she was asleep. She tossed and turned in what looked like a slumber ridden with stress. Jane really did love her and not being with her was painful to think about but she couldn't choose between the two women in her life. She didn't want to, but Korsak was right. Maura did hurt her, in the worst possible way. Could she really do the same to Parker? Could she break her heart and make her hurt the way Maura made her hurt after her divorce?_

_Jane slipped off her shoes and walked over to the bed. She laid down next to the blonde and placed her arm over the painter, enjoying the feeling of being close to her. _

"_Jane?" Parker opened her eyes and saw the detective staring back at her. Although still upset, she was happy that she had come home. _

"_Yeah…I'm sorry." She whispered. She reached up and wiped away a few stray blonde hairs that had fallen in Parker's face. _

"_It's just that I've lived here all of my life."_

"_I know but we can always come back...Look I've been thinking, I would love to work in Philadelphia but I love you even more. There's no life for me there if you're not in it. " _

"_You would really stay for me?" Seeing her nod confirmed what Korsak said and what Jane already knew: Parker was deeply in love with her. It gave her all the answers she needed._

"_I shouldn't have made you feel like crap because I was too scared to let go of my old life…I think we should push the wedding up."_

"_Why?"_

"_I know you really want this job in Philadelphia and I was thinking maybe William and I should go with you." Parker shrieked in excitement as she leaned in to kiss Jane. It would be hard to pack up and leave it all behind but being here with Parker and feeling the love they shared she knew it would be worth it. She closed her eyes, happy that this would soon be the rest of her life._

Just thinking about her upcoming wedding brought another smile to Jane's face. However, stepping off the elevator and seeing Maura sitting at her desk brought back a sense of uneasiness in the detective's stomach. All morning she had been dreading how she was going to tell Maura about plans to leave and even worse, her plans to take William with her.

"Hey Maur." The doctor looked up from the file she was reviewing at her desk. She smiled brightly at the detective as she greeted her in return.

"Good morning, detective." Jane walked over to the desk taking a seat. She took a sip of her coffee.

"Did you finally let that asshole move in yet?"

"If you're referring to your bother, the answer is no. Besides, he's been out of town all week."

"Ok. Well…um…I have some news." Maura closed the folder in front of her and looked up at Jane.

"Really? What is it?"

"Um… well… Parker and I have decided to get married earlier." Maura had to stop herself from wincing in discomfort. She still hadn't come to terms with Jane getting married just yet and tried to avoid all conversation about it.

"Oh really? How early?" Jane didn't answer at first. No matter how many times she rehearsed it this morning, she still couldn't prepare herself for the anger that would come when she told her.

"This week?"

"What!" Maura blurted out before she could stop herself. She didn't mean to yell but she was caught off guard by Jane's confession. She was upset, she had to admit it.

"Yeah, this week because… because we want to do it before we move. Same sex marriage isn't legal in Philadelphia so we have to do it before we move. "

By now Maura was having a very difficult time controlling her emotion. She didn't want to cry but she couldn't help it. Kayleen was right, her chance was slipping away.

"You will not take William way from me." She stated firmly.

"And I don't plan on it. We won't be too far from here and we can change our routine so that he can spend time with both of us."

"NO! William is my child and I will not let you take him away so that you can go be a happy family with your _new wife."_

"Maura, listen. We both need to stop holding on to what isn't there."

"Holding on?" she was furious. How dare Jane accuse her of holding on when Maura knew she wasn't the only one. "I know I shouldn't have kissed you but that's no reason to run."

Jane normally would be offended and argue back but she refrained from doing so because she knew Maura didn't mean any of what she was saying. She was upset and Jane knew she had every right to be.

"I'm not running." She calmly stated, taking another sip of her coffee. Maura stood up and walked around her desk so that she was standing in front of the detective.

"You always run. No matter how tough you pretend to be when things get rough you turn into a coward and run."

Although she was trying to remain calm, she was becoming offended by some of the things Maura was saying. She wanted her words to hurt Jane and Jane knew this rage wasn't only because she didn't want to have William taken from her. She stood up so that she was face to face with the doctor.

"What is this really about? Because I know it's not just about me leaving" Maura looked up at her, hurt replacing the anger.

"You really have no idea?" _I love you Jane. Can't you see I don't want you to leave because I'm in love with you?_

Jane shook her head crossing her arms as she waited for an answer.

Maura shook her head in disappointment as she wiped away her tears.

"If you really don't know by now then why I should bother?" She walked away from the detective leaving her there to ponder on what she had said.

* * *

Maura had decided to go home for the rest of the day; she couldn't face Jane after what happened that morning. After she calmed down and stopped crying she realized how unfair she had been to her, calling her a coward. Maura knew that she was the real coward. She was too cowardly to tell Jane how she really felt but not anymore. Kayleen was right, she needed to tell her before Jane was married. She sat in her car across the street from Jane's house trying to gather the courage to go to the door and ring the bell.

"You can do this Maura." She whispered to herself. She reached into her purse and pulled out the silver wedding band. After Jane had taken it off the day she left Maura kept it because she knew she wouldn't die without being her wife again. However, as time passed and Jane met Parker the idea of them reuniting became more and more farfetched.

But not anymore, she wasn't going to let her fear stand in the way of being with the one she wanted. She had to laugh at herself; Tommy uttered those exact same words to her before he ruined her life. She got out of her car, leaving her purse on the passenger seat and walked to Jane's door. She rung the bell and waited. She could feel the coldness of the ring in her hand as she waited for Jane to open the door. She looked out to the driveway, she didn't see Parker's car. She was glad; she would hate to do this with her there because like everyone else, she really liked Parker.

"Hey Maura." Maura's heart dropped at seeing the painter standing at the door. She stepped aside to let Maura inside.

"Hello Parker." she walked inside, crestfallen that her plans were ruined.

"I didn't know you were here, I didn't see your car out in the driveway."

Parker walked over to an open box and started placing books into it. "Oh, that's because it's already been taken to our new house. "

Maura looked around at the several suitcases and boxes that were taped and stacked in the room.

"Is Jane here?" Parker nodded her head, pointing to the backroom. As if she heard Maura, Jane walked into the living room carrying tape and a bunch of other books.

"Are these what you were looking for? Oh hey Maura." Jane was surprised to see her standing there after their fight earlier in the day.

Parker stood up walking over to Jane, looking through the books in her hands.

"No, but still pack them in the box. I'll go get the other ones." Parker walked into the other room leaving the two alone.

"Do you want to see William, he's asleep in his room, but I can go get him if you want."

Maura shook her head no, taking a step closer to Jane. She felt the ring in her hand for reassurance as she reached out for Jane's hand.

"Jane, I know I was out of line earlier and I came to apologize."

"You don't need to, you were upset and I understand."

"I was more than upset Jane, I was heartbroken…but I came here because I have a gift for you."

She used her left hand to open Jane's hand that she naturally held clenched into fists. She lifted her right hand, which held Jane's old wedding band, and as she prepared to drop it into the detective's hand, Parker reentered the room, which caused Maura to stop.

"I found them." She announced. She wasn't looking up at either of them, instead looking through the books in her hands. Maura took that as her chance to drop her hands.

She had missed her chance.

Jane looked at Maura expecting her to continue but she didn't.

"What was it that you wanted to give me?" she asked. Maura looked over at Parker who was now looking at her.

"Oh, um, the gift was…" she held the ring in her hands as she tried to come up with a lie quickly.

"I came to tell you that…that my mother has allowed you to use her house in Florence for your wedding. It beats city hall." Parker ran over to Maura, enveloping her in a hug. As Parker jumped up and down in Maura's arms, the doctor looked over at Jane. Maura took Parker's back being turned as her chance to reveal to Jane her real gift.

She opened her hand so that Jane could see what it held before allowing it to drop to the floor. Jane looked down at it on the floor. She recognized it immediately and looked back at Maura. Jane knew what it meant but instead of picking up the ring she left it and turned around, walking to her bedroom.

Maura disconnected from the hug, forcing a smile for Parker's sake.

"I should get going, Tommy is coming home tonight and he's probably waiting for me at my house." Parker nodded in understanding. She walked Maura to the door, thanking her once again. As Maura walked back to her car she broke down in tears. She had left it all there for Jane. She saw the ring and knew that Maura had silently confessed her love for the detective, but she didn't take it and that hurt Maura more than any bullet or knife ever would.

_She doesn't love me anymore._

* * *

Maura walked into her house wanting nothing more than to go to bed. Her heart hurt as well as the rest of her body. However her plans were cut short by the sight of Tommy sitting on her couch.

"Hey babe." He walked over to her, sloppily kissing her, completely ignoring the fact that she was distraught. He started to unbutton his shirt as he kissed a trail down her neck.

"What are you doing?" she asked, pushing him away.

"Getting undressed. I've been gone for a week and I'm horny as hell." He ran a hand up her thigh, trying to pull down her underwear but Maura reached out, grabbing his hand to stop him.

"No...Stop...I said Stop it!" she yelled forcefully pushing him away from her.

"What the hell is your problem?" he asked.

"Tommy, look, I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

After all that has happened with Jane hurting her she couldn't allow Tommy to hurt her too. She didn't know where the burst of courage came from but she was glad it was there. It would make what she was about to do a lot easier.

"I want you to leave my house and never come back."

Tommy walked closer to her causing Maura to back away in fear until she felt the wall behind her. She had nowhere else to run, so she had no choice but to finally stand up for herself.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he seethed, just inches from Maura's face. She looked away in fear and nodded her head yes.

"Are you seeing someone else?" the calmness in which he asked the question confused her but scared her nonetheless.

"No, I'm not. I just don't love you…I never have."

"Is it Jane?" Maura didn't respond because she didn't know how. Her love for Jane made her want to break up with him but Tommy's abuse is what made her actually do it. However, during her internal debate Tommy was growing more and more enraged.

"You love her don't you?" Maura remained quiet, and her silence only infuriated him more.

"Do you love that bitch?" he screamed spraying her with spit as he yelled. She reached up and wiped away the saliva on her face as she turned to finally face him. His face was red and his eyes were wide and bloodshot like a madman.

"It doesn't matter what I feel for Jane. All that matters now is that I don't want to be with you. I wish you would respect that and leave." Tommy stepped away from her, pacing back and forth, getting angrier and angrier with every step. He stopped suddenly, staring at the women in front of her. He walked over to her and raised his hand as if preparing to strike her. Maura didn't know where the bravery came from but she grabbed his hand before it could reach her face. Tommy looked at her surprised by her actions. Honestly, Maura had surprised herself. She stood up taller, with the confidence of her old self and looked Tommy square in the eye.

"Do you think hitting me is going to make me change my mind?" Tommy stayed quiet and Maura took that as her opportunity to say everything she's ever wanted to say to him.

"No matter how many times you hit me, or yell at me you can't make me love you." Tommy smirked at her, raising his hand again only to have Maura stop him once again.

"If you dare touch me again I won't hesitate to call my father." Tommy shrugged in indifference, so what if she called her father, he wasn't afraid of Mr. Isles or Constance. Maura realized that she needed to clarify and looked up at him with a smirk of her own.

"I mean my _real_ father." At Maura's elaboration Tommy backed away. Seeing the man who brought so much fear to her cower away in fear made her smile.

Tommy reached down and began to re-button his shirt as he walked to the front door.

"All of this trouble for nothing." He grumbled.

"What do you mean?" Maura asked.

Tommy opened the door, ignoring her question.

"Answer Me!" she wasn't going to just allow him to walk away. He turned back to face her.

"What do you mean all of this trouble for nothing?" she asked once again.

He sighed in frustration,

"God Maura, you think I ended up in your bed by accident?"

Maura's hand covered her mouth, her eyes widening as she began to realize what he meant.

"So she was right, you did r-r-rape me" Her eyes began to water as her voice broke with emotion. He was so nonchalant about the whole thing and it angered her.

"You ruined my life, don't you feel any remorse?" she sobbed.

"For what?" he asked with indifference.

Maura was livid now. She never thought anyone could be as cold hearted as the man in front of her. He admitted to what he done with such ease, like he didn't see anything wrong with it.

"For ruining my marriage. For hurting your sister for…for raping me."

Tommy chuckled, turning towards the door, opening it once again.

"Maybe next time you won't leave your drinks sitting unattended at a bar."

Maura watched him close the door before collapsing to the floor. After all the denial and denying to Kayleen that she was raped she felt completely stupid. How could she not see what was right in front of her. His anger whenever she brought up that night, not being able to remember anything. All clues that she didn't want to piece together.

"He raped me!" She screamed out, banging her fists several times on the hardwood floor below her in fury as her tears fell to the ground, forming a small puddle in front of her.

_How could he just walk out of here leaving me with this?_

He had not only raped her sexually, but he raped her of her family, her marriage, her life and most of all, her happiness.

* * *

_**So Maura finally knows, and finally broke up with Tommy. I know most of you want something really bad to happen to him so don't worry, he won't just get to walk away. Another chapter will be posted tomorrow, maybe tonight if I get the chance to write it. Thanks for reading and review as always. **_


	13. Mistakes

Maura stood patiently outside the hotel waiting for her rental car to arrive. After they had arrived in Florence, they decided to check into a hotel while the house was being prepared.

"Hey Maura." She turned around surprised to see Frankie walking over to her. To say they weren't on friendly terms was quite an understatement and the thought saddened her because she had come to think of him as a brother.

"Hello Frankie." She said, turning to face forward once again. Her rental car had just pulled up. She walked over to the driver door, accepting the keys from the driver, placing a one hundred dollar bill in his hand as a tip.

"Here, let me get that for you." Frankie offered, running ahead of her to grab the door. He held it open but Maura refused to get in. He was behaving strangely and Maura wanted to know why.

"Pardon me for being rude but, what do you want Frankie?" He let go of the door, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to find the words.

"Um… I've been doing a lot of thinking lately since I last saw you at Christmas and I realized that I've been really crappy to you. You made a mistake and maybe I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I don't know what happened between you and Tommy and I shouldn't have judged you for it…. it's just that I care about Janie is all… I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that's it's really nice of you letting them use your parents house for their wedding."

Maura took in all that he had said to her. He had been really rude and harsh to her, sometimes just cruel but being bitter about it wouldn't make her feel any better. Maura reached out, placing a hand on Frankie's arm as she smiled at him. Hearing him apologize gave her some hope that all wasn't lost.

"Thank you Frankie, you have no idea how much it means to me." He nodded, smiling back. He held the door open for her once again, closing it once she was inside.

"You're not staying around? We were all going to go out and celebrate with Janie."

"I'll be back. I'm meeting with my mother before she flies out to Tokyo." She explained, pulling the seatbelt across her chest.

"Alright, well I'll see you when you come back…and thanks."

"For what?"

"For accepting my apology. If I were in your shoes I don't think I would be able to do it…forgiving those who wronged you…only the strong can do that." Maura watched him walk away allowing his words to resonate.

_He's right... I've survived everything that has been thrown my way and I've become stronger as a result._

Maura walked over to where Constance sat in the café. She walked to the back taking a seat across from her.

"Hello mother." The older Isles looked up from her menu smiling brightly at her daughter. She was glad that her daughter called her, they hadn't talked in several months. She wasn't as close to Maura as most mothers to their daughters but she did love Maura and missed her terribly in the time they spent apart.

"Thanks for postponing you're flight."

"You said you needed me and that's more important than my exhibit." The waiter came over and took their orders, pleased that both women were fluent in Italian and that he could switch from English to his native language when speaking to them. Maura watched him walk away before turning towards her mother. She took a deep breath as she told Constance everything, including the abuse from Tommy and Jane moving away but she refrained from telling Constance about the rape. She hadn't quite come to terms with it yet and wasn't ready to admit it aloud to anyone yet.

"It's just that, so much has happened… I've tried to deal with it on my own but I can't do it alone."

"Why not talk to Jane?"

Maura, fumbled with her hands, a few stray tears falling from eyes into her hands.

"She has her own life, with Parker and her wedding. She doesn't have time for me anymore."

"Well have you tried?" Maura wiped away the tears and shook her head no. Constance sighed, quite upset with all that her daughter has told her. She reached across the table, grabbing a hold of Maura's hand. Maura looked up at her mother, smiling sadly.

"Although I've only met her a handful of times, I know she's very protective of you. If she knew what he did to you she would do whatever she could to make sure he doesn't hurt you again. You need to trust her enough to tell her."

"I know…I'll tell her after the wedding."

Constance looked over at Maura, confused, "So you're not going to tell her how you feel." Before Maura could question her, Constance continued.

"I know I'm not the greatest when it comes to being a mother, however you are my daughter and I can tell when you're hurting… Do you love her?"

Maura looked at Constance, not wanting to answer. However, Maura knew she had no reason to lie and if she did Constance would know she had done so.

"Yes I do…I love her so much but…she loves Parker. If truly loving her means letting her be with the one she really loves then I'll have to get over what I'm feeling and let her do that."

"What if you're the one she really loves?" Constance retorted. Maura looked away, unsure of how to respond to what Constance said.

As she sat across watching her daughter admit her feelings she couldn't help but feel that she was punishing herself for a mistake she made close to three years ago. Although she knew she couldn't force Maura to tell Jane the truth, she knew she could try to convince her that she was the one Jane really wanted. The two continued their lunch date, moving onto a lighter subject, and finished eating. Afterwards Maura drove her mother to the airport and waited until her flight departed before driving back to the hotel. It was nearly 6 o'clock by the time she returned.

As she walked to the front entrance, looking for her room key in her purse she saw Parker and another woman who looked just like her, putting a suitcase in the trunk of a car. Jane came out the front entrance of the hotel, carrying a long traveling bag that Maura assumed carried Parker's wedding dress.

"Hey Maura." The painter waved the moment she saw her.

"This is my sister Melanie, Melanie this is Maura, Jane's maid of honor." Melanie extended her hand, which Maura shook.

"I saw the mansion that your family owns and I must say it is beautiful."

Maura blushed, dropping her hand back to her side. Honestly, of all of the houses her parents owned, it wasn't that extravagant, but Maura wasn't going to say that. She instead took the compliment and thanked her.

"Are you leaving?" she asked pointing to the car.

"Yeah, my sister's husband is stationed here with the navy. They have a house out in Tuscany and I wanted to spend some time with them while I was here." She explained, as she closed the trunk.

Parker and Melanie walked back into the hotel to get the rest of the things Parker needed for the wedding leaving Jane and Maura alone again. They stood in an awkward silence, not knowing what to say to each other. After Maura left Jane's house four days earlier, heartbroken, they each went out of their way to avoid the other. Unable to stand the silence, Jane turned to walk back into the hotel but was stopped by Maura.

"Jane, when we return home, I need to tell you something really important." Maura was going to take Constance's advice and tell Jane. As much as it hurt to think about and how embarrassed she felt over it, she knew she couldn't let Tommy get away with what he did to her.

"Is something wrong? You can tell me now and I'll deal with it for you." Maura laughed to herself, finding it funny that after all that has happened, Jane was still willing to protect her without a bit of hesitation. She shook her head,

"No, this weekend is about you. Don't worry, it can wait." Jane looked at her with concern. She wanted to push the subject but decided to drop it as she watched Parker return with her sister carrying her art bag.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow babe." Parker said, leaning in to kiss Jane. Maura looked away, slightly embarrassed. Melanie grabbed her sister's hand, pulling her to the front of the car. Once the two were inside, Melanie started the car, sticking her head out the window.

"And don't count on her being back until the wedding" she called out to Jane as they drove away. Maura and Jane watched the car drive farther away until they could no longer spot it in the distance.

"So, where is William?" Jane asked.

"He's with your mother. She didn't want to be alone tonight."

Jane rolled her eyes, "I told her she could go out with Frankie." Maura laughed,

"I'm sure she enjoys the company of her grandson more than being in a bar." Jane nodded, smirking at the doctor. She turned to walk back into the hotel and Maura grabbed her arm,

"I'm you're maid of honor, shouldn't I take you out to celebrate your last night of freedom?" Jane really didn't want to go out but seeing the hopeful look that Maura had, she couldn't refuse. She had never been able to say no to her, a habit she had yet to break.

"Ok, but If I do something stupid when I'm drunk it's not my fault."

* * *

Parker sat with Melanie in her kitchen, while the two enjoyed a newly opened bottle of wine that Melanie's husband had acquired while in France. She wasn't much of a wine drinker but the occasion called for it so she allowed herself to indulge.

"So are you ready for tomorrow?" Melanie asked, seeing the smile that had yet to leave her sister's face. She hadn't seen her as happy as she was now in a very long time.

"Yes I am…we've been through a lot in the past month with our feelings for each other but I finally think she has gotten to the point where she is over her ex-wife."

"Well I'm glad. I'm sure tomorrow will be a day you'll remember for the rest of your life."

* * *

Maura helped Jane over to the bed trying to keep the both of them from toppling over. Maura wasn't sure if it was nerves about tomorrow but she had never seen Jane drink as much as she had tonight, nor had she seen her drink such a variety of alcohol. She ordered everything from Jack to Vodka to Tequila to Bacardi. However, the moment she saw someone offer the wasted detective Everclear, she knew it was time to leave.

By the time she had gathered her things and found Jane by the bar, she was completely wasted.

She should have paid more attention to Jane's alcohol intake but she was too busy getting drunk herself. The alcohol made it a hell of a lot easier to deal with the thought that Jane's wedding was quickly approaching. However, she was nowhere as drunk as her friend. She just hoped she'd be able to get her friend back to her hotel room before she passed out, leaving Maura to carry her the rest of the way.

The walk, which was only down the street from the hotel, took nearly thirty because Jane kept stopping to complain about her feet hurting, or the sidewalk sliding, and once to remove her shoes even though that left her to walk barefoot on cold concrete. This of course gave Jane something else to complain about. Along the way Jane began to confide in Maura about her fears and anything else that came to mind.

"_Maur—did you know that Parker was married before?"_

_Maura looked over at the woman she was carrying and shook her head._

"_No, I did not."_

"_Yeah, well she was. Her wife died in Afghanistan covering some big story for the newspaper company she worked for."_

"_Wow, that must have been heard for her to deal with." Maura didn't know how she would continue to survive if Jane had ever died suddenly. _

"_Yeah, but it happened like 6 years ago, so she's ok now." The two continued to walk in silence as Maura tried to keep Jane from tripping over her own feet. _

Jane sat on the edge of the bed, trying to keep herself from falling over, as she belted the lyrics to American Woman by The Guess Who.

"C'mon Jane, you can't sleep in this dress." Seeing her pout in response made Maura feel like she was dealing with a five year old instead of a 35 year old woman. Jane stopped singing, and turned away from Maura, who in turn unzipped the dress, allowing the straps to carelessly fall down her arms. As Maura walked into the bathroom to get aspirin for Jane, the detective stood up and slipped out her dress leaving her in emerald lace underwear. When she returned holding the bottle of Tylenol, she was rendered speechless seeing Jane standing there in just her underwear. Something about the way her hair framed her face, falling carelessly onto her shoulders, was an extreme turn on for the doctor.

However, it was highly inappropriate considering that it was the morning of Jane's wedding. Maura turned away from the brunette and walked over to her suitcase to find her something to wear. As she rifled through the clothes she thought back to another confession Jane had made to her in her drunken stupor.

"_Maura, I don't want to go Philadelphia."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because you're not there." Maura wasn't sure if she should take the word of Jane in the highly intoxicated state she was in but everyone knows a drunken mind speaks a sober heart. _

"_Well, you're going with your new wife."_

"_Not if you say I can't take William."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean Maurrraaa, I said I was taking William so that you could get angry and forbid me from doing so. That way I would have a reason to stay."_

"_But, I'm letting him live with you until the summer."_

"_I know and now I have to go to Pennsylvania."_

After finding a t shirt and shorts for her Maura, she stood up, but she soon felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her.

"You smell good." Jane slurred in her ear.

For a moment Maura allowed herself to be held, and she enjoyed the wonderful feeling of being in Jane's arms in such an intimate way once again. But the moment she felt Jane's lips on her neck, She wiggled out of Jane's grasp and held the clothes in front of her. Jane sighed, grabbing the clothes and stumbled back over to the bed, falling over onto her face. Maura rolled her eyes and walked over to the drunken women. She took the t-shirt from Jane's hand and prepared to put it over her head but Jane grabbed her arms. Before Maura could protest, she was being pulled closer to Jane and before she knew it she and Jane were kissing.

She felt the spark of heat rush through her and her face flamed hot from the emotions that ran over her. Unsure of what to do, but loving the sensations that were quietly surfacing she tilted her head and timidly touched Jane's tongue with hers.

_I can't do this. She's getting married tomorrow._

Maura wished that she could be selfish and allow Jane to kiss her but she couldn't. She couldn't do to Jane what Tommy had done to her all those years ago; take advantage of her while she was intoxicated. She pushed away from Jane.

"Stop, Jane… We can't do this."

"Why n-not?"

"Because you're getting married tomorrow."

"I don't care." She reached out for Maura again but she stepped out of Jane's reach.

Maura looked at her with sympathy,

_She has no idea what she's doing._

"Please, Jane don't make the same mistake I did." She knew she didn't willingly sleep with Tommy but she would hate to put Jane in a position where she would have to choose between lying or hurting Parker, the same position Maura was in all those years ago.

Jane stood up and walked over to Maura, kissing her once again. Maura pushed her away once again; she couldn't stay here, not with Jane like this.

"I need to go." She tried to walk away but Jane grabbed her arm, pulling her down onto the bed but before Maura could get up, an intoxicated Jane straddled her, effectively pinning her to the bed. Maura tried to move once again but Jane grabbed both of her hands, pinning them above her head. She leaned down, their faces just inches apart.

"I love you." Jane whispered.

Maura felt her heart stop. She had wanted to hear Jane utter those words since the day she signed the divorce papers and now hearing them, she couldn't help the tears that flowed from her eyes.

Jane looked down studying Maura and placed a hand on Maura's face, wiping away the tears, the other still holding Maura's hands above her. She cupped Maura's beautiful features and lowered her lips once again to hers. They touched, merged together just as they did so long ago. This time when they kissed it was not the kiss of two people who had been hurt, but the kiss of two who had found themselves still very much in love. Maura's fingers slid to her hair and held Jane to her. Jane's tongue slid inside her mouth and hers slipped inside Jane's. They reconnected, each renewing the hunger that they shared. Each danced a melody upon the other desiring to taste the other. Jane's grasp on Maura's wrist loosened but instead of letting go, she laced her hands with Maura's. Jane's hands slowly crept down to the hem of Maura's dress, her fingers hooking on her underwear.

Felling Jane's hands creeping closer and closer to her center, Maura wanted to reach down and stop her but the look of love that Jane gave her, made her freeze and allow her to continue. She watched Jane slide her underwear down her calves and off her feet, bawling them up in her hands before throwing them to the side.

_Can I through with this?_

Maura had thought about everyone else's feelings for the past three years that she'd forgotten about herself and how she felt. Allowing herself to be selfish for once, she gave in and moaned as Jane made contact with her awaiting arousal. Finally admitting it aloud for the first time, she moaned,

"I love you too."

* * *

_**So, um, yeah. This story will be finished sooner than I thought because I've begun to combine chapters to make them longer. I hope you liked this chapter and review as always.**_


	14. The Wedding Part 1

Maura stood at the mirror, taking in her reflection, viewing her bridal gown of white satin, intricately trimmed within tiny diamonds in addition to white lace. A very simple dress, but elegant never the less. Some of her hair was pinned above her head, held in place by a small diamond clip while the rest hung down in curls. Her hand reached up to the necklace around her neck, running her fingers across the diamonds; it was the one Jane had given her.

In less than one hour she would have to watch Jane say I do and the thought was killing her. She could still feel Jane's hands roaming over body from the night before. She could still hear her admit she loved her. Sighing deeply, she closed her eyes upset at the fact she put Jane in the exact same position she was in 3 years ago. She wondered would Jane tell Parker. That morning she didn't bother waiting for Jane to wake up. She put on one of Jane's shirts and a pair of her shorts to wear back to her room and cried softly to herself as she quietly gathered her clothes off the floor and slipped back into her room. She couldn't face the regretful look Jane surely would have given her.

"Knock Knock. Hello Maura" she turned around to see Angela coming into the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She walked over to Maura.

"You look stunning, although I liked your wedding dress better." She said adjusting the diamond necklace that had become crooked around her neck. Maura laughed lightly as Angela grabbed her hand.

"You know that this is your last chance?" She asked looking up at the doctor seriously. Maura shook her head, choosing to pretend as if she didn't know what it was that Angela was referring to. Angela really liked Parker and would welcome her into the family with open arms if Jane went through with the wedding but she knew Jane well enough to know that she loved Maura more.

"The day I stood here with you and helped you put on your wedding dress, you were crying, why?" Maura reached up, wiping away a tear, not wanting to ruin her makeup.

"Because I didn't plan on walking down the aisle. I was going to tell Jane what happened as soon as you left."

"But you chose not hurting her over telling the truth."

Maura looked at Angela,

_She finally understands. _

Angela leaned over and gave Maura a light kiss on the cheek,

"This is your last chance." and with that she left Maura to ponder on everything that she had told her. This was her last chance but Maura realized that with everything that has happened in the past few days she can't stop the wedding. It would be extremely selfish of her to even think of it as a possibility. She walked over to the vanity mirror and took one last look at her hair before walking over to the door. She exhaled deeply,

_I can do this._

She opened the door and there stood Jane with her hand up to knock. She had on her wedding dress and the sight left Maura speechless. Jane was truly a beautiful woman and Parker was lucky she would have her as her wife.

"Jane."

"Maura." The two looked at each other, taking in the sights before them. Seeing Maura in her dress brought a nostalgic feeling to Jane's heart. Although she thought Maura was always beautiful, seeing her in such a simple gown highlighted her beauty because there weren't any fancy clothes to distract the eye.

"You look beautiful." Jane breathed. Maura blushed slightly, looking away from the detective's wondering eyes.

"So do you. I'm sure you'll glow as you walk down the aisle."

Jane timidly took Maura's hand and led her back into the room, closing the door behind them. They both took a seat on the couch stationed in the corner of the room.

"I just wanted to thank you for last night; I had a lot of fun…well at least what I could remember."

Maura's eyes widened, "You don't remember last night."

"Well not all of it. I'm kinda blanking out on what happened after we left the club. That's what I came here to talk to you about because it's all kind of fuzzy. Did anything happen that I should know about?"

"_Maura—I Love you." Maura stiffened as Jane wrapped an arm protectively around her pulling the blonde closer so that they were spooning. Maura allowed the detective to hold her knowing it was very innocent compared to what they had just done. _

"_Jane, just…just go to sleep." Jane was silent and Maura sighed figuring that she had finally gone to sleep. _

"_Don't you love me too?" Jane asked, and she sounded somewhat sad, as if she was going to cry._

"_Jane, I love you, I really do…now just go to sleep." 'You're wedding is in the morning' she thought sadly to herself._

_Jane leaned in kissing Maura's cheek gently. _

"_Goodnight." She whispered before pulling the blonde's naked body closer to her and closing her eyes to go to sleep._

Maura felt her heart drop at Jane's confession. If she couldn't remember the passionate love they made and the confessions they made to each other Maura wouldn't be the one to remind her and ruin her happiness.

She wiped at the one tear that fell and shook her head, forcing a smile, "No, nothing happened"

Jane placed a hand over her heart as she sighed with relief.

"Oh thank God. I would hate to have done something I would regret." Maura could feel her heart breaking into pieces at the smile that came over Jane's face the moment Maura lied about the events that took place the night before.

"Alright, well I'll see you out there." Maura watched Jane walk out the door through blurry eyes. Jane was getting married and Maura would have to accept it.

* * *

Maura stood along with several others of Jane's bridesmaids at the left of the altar. Parker had already come out and she waited at the altar for the bridal march to begin again so that Jane could come out. She quickly glanced over at Angela who looked at her encouragingly, Maura knew what Angela was trying to get her to do but she couldn't, especially now that she knows Jane doesn't know what they did the night before.

The doors to the church opened and everyone stood as the wedding march began to play from the organ carrying the music throughout the church and into the street. Jane stepped out, her arm in Korsak's as he escorted her down into the church. Her smile was bright as she walked down the aisle her eyes locked with Parker's. Maura tightened her grip on the flowers in her hand as she watched Jane get closer and closer to the altar. When they got married, Maura came out second so she never got to see Jane walk. To see her walk down the aisle made her cry more than she already was. Maura quickly reached up and wiped away a tear. Soon Korsak and Jane had reached the end of the aisle. Jane took her spot, standing next to her fiancée, soon to be wife. Her smile shined radiantly as tears slowly fell from her eyes. The tears of joy were hard to keep back.

A silence fell over the church as the wedding ceremony began…

"Good morning everyone," started the priest. Jane handed her bouquet to Maura each feeling a spark between them as their hands touched. Jane turned back towards Parker who had just handed her bouquet to Melanie. The priest began to speak.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the wedding ceremony of Ms. Jane Clementine Rizzoli to Ms. Parker Sophia Marino. I am about to start the process to join these two in holy matrimony.

"Who gives this woman away?" asked the priest turning towards Jane.

"Her mother and I do," replied Korsak as he and Angela stood.

"And who gives this woman away?" asked the priest turning towards Parker.

Both of her parents stood smiling brightly at their daughter. The priest smiled at both women before continuing.

"This is the day that matches all days in your lives, Jane and Parker. It is the most wonderful day and the culmination of one relationship to begin anew. You end one relationship just to begin a new one. This new relationship is one of a married couple. You go forth from this day as a married couple, to support and love one another.

To be caring, supportive and truthful to one another. You will have your ups along with your downs. You will have your good times along with your bad times. Today starts the beginning of another type of relationship. This relationship will last forever because the love you hold for one another lasts forever. You step into a committed relationship showing to the world how committed you are to one another. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it is a relationship that you constantly have to work on throughout the rest of your lives. And it is now my pleasure to begin the vows and the exchanging of the rings that will bring you into your new relationship as wife and wife.

As the priest spoke these words, Jane and Parker looked deeply into each other's eyes. This was the day they had been waiting for. It felt like an eternity would come before their day would come, but it had finally arrived. They would soon be married.

"Now first, these two have decided to write their own vows that they will now exchange."

Jane turned towards Maura to get the small paper she wrote her vows on. As she turned to face her, their eyes locked and for the first time since the ceremony started Jane was feeling a bit of regret at seeing Maura cry. Nevertheless she took the paper and turned back around to face Parker.

"Before we begin the exchange of vows, I must ask, although this practice is a little outdated, if anyone does not think these two should be married, speak now or forever hold their peace." Jane and Parker smiled at one another when no one spoke.

Maura looked over to Angela who was anxiously motioning for her to speak. Maura shook her head no, and Angela mouthed the words, "Last chance." Maura shook her head no once again as she closed her eyes.

"Ok, if no one has any objections we can move-"

_Can I really do this? Can I let Jane slip right through my hands and marry Parker? Maura this is your last chance, you'll lose her forever._

"WAIT!"

Everyone gasped and turned to look at Maura. Jane slowly turned around to look at Maura incredulously.

"Jane, you cannot marry Parker." She spoke, trying to find her voice.

_Now or never_

"Maura, what are you doing?" Jane asked.

"Jane you're my best friend and the love of my life… I know I lied to you and hid what happened between Tommy and me but I didn't tell you because I was afraid of losing you…. like I will today if you marry Parker."

She reached out to grab Jane's hand. The detective looked down at their joined hands before looking up to meet Maura's eyes.

"I didn't fight for you Jane, I signed the divorce papers and I just let you go but now I am asking you to fight with me. Without you, I have nothing…I am nothing. I love you. I love you so much" She reached up and wiped away a stream of tears as she tried to control the emotion in her voice.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one feeling this, please…"

Maura looked at her with pleading eyes squeezing Jane's hands in her own. Jane looked at everyone whose eyes were all on her before turning back to face Maura.

She opened her mouth trying to desperately find her voice,

"I-I"

* * *

_**Another chapter won't be up until Saturday because I've neglected finishing my summer work to write this and I need to take the day off to finish it. (If enough people read it before then, I might take the time to actually write it though, that all depends on you guys.) I don't know if this is the first true cliffhanger I've written, maybe it isn't but I feel like it is, so I won't leave you guys hanging for long. I know a lot of people wanted Maura to tell Jane what Tommy did to her before the wedding but Maura didn't, making Jane's decision purely hers, one that won't be made from the guilt of knowing Maura was raped. Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated.**_


	15. The Wedding Part 2

"_**Please tell me I'm not the only one feeling this, please…" **_

_**Maura looked at her with pleading eyes squeezing Jane's hands in her own. Jane looked at everyone whose eyes were all on her before turning back to face Maura. **_

_**She opened her mouth trying to desperately find her voice, **_

"_**I-I"**_

_Why is Maura doing this now? Why not tell me yesterday or even this morning? Does she expect me to just leave with her? I can't hurt Parker, she would be heartbroken. No I can't hurt her; I know what that feels like._

"I'm sorry Maura, I can't. It's too late… _**you're **_too late." Jane could have sworn that she could hear Maura's heartbreaking.

Maura didn't move at first, instead she stood there staring at Jane, hoping she wasn't serious. Jane couldn't stand to see the pain on Maura's face, so she closed her eyes and sadly looked away. Maura sobbed, grabbing a hold of the bottom of her dress and ran down the aisle and out of the church.

Korsak watched Maura leave and watched Angela go after her. He wasn't at all surprised when Maura spoke up. He expected her try and win Jane back; however, he didn't expect to feel as much sympathy for her if she was rejected.

* * *

Angela chased after Maura, catching her as she flagged down a cab.

"Maura."

"Leave me alone Angela." She cried.

"I can't. Just listen to me—"she reached out for Maura's arm but the doctor jumped from her touch.

"No! I listened to you and I told Jane how I felt and made a fool of myself." The taxi cab pulled up beside them on the sidewalk and Maura reached for the handle.

"She didn't mean it."

"Yes, she did. You saw it yourself, I was too late." She sobbed, not caring if the abundant amount of tears ruined her makeup.

Angela sighed as she watched Maura get into the taxi. She grabbed the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving; I can't go back to Boston. I'll have my mother come get William and bring him to me after Jane's three months with him have passed but I can't face her anymore... I'm so tired of having my heart broken, I just…I need to go."

"What in the hell was that?" bellowed an angry voice behind them.

Angela and Maura bother turned to see Korsak coming out of the church.

"Not now, Vince." Angela said. He pushed past her and walked over to the car where Maura was.

"You have some nerve coming in there and ruining their wedding. Jane's a wreck and Parker is upset, which she has the right to be. You think you can play with Jane's emotions like she's some—some doll. You had your chance—"he yelled.

Maura couldn't stand it any longer. Through all of her sorrow, Vince had managed to incite another emotion in Maura, anger.

"My chance was stolen from me the night Tommy walked into my hotel room."

"Aw, don't try and come up with some sorry excuse. We all know you're only sorry because you were caught-"

"I was raped!" she blurted out before she could stop herself. Angela looked at Maura in shock, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in disbelief. Vince looked at her, his mouth open with shock.

"What?" Angela asked her voice a little above a whisper.

"Tommy raped me." She said again, her voice a lot softer.

"I'm s-sorry. I didn't know" Vince said immediately still in shock by Maura's announcement.

She sadly shook her head, as she whispered again,

"Yeah, that makes two of us." before instructing the driver to pull off and Angela and Vince watched the car speed off.

* * *

Jane looked around the church to see that everyone was staring at her, waiting to see what she would do. She quietly turned back to Parker at the altar, taking her hands in hers.

"I can't believe she did that." Parker whispered. Jane gulped, looking back at the priest.

"Ok, um, we will continue…Before we join these two women they have written vows that they will now exchange."

Jane opened the paper that held her vows staring down at the words she had written.

Blinking a view times to clear her vision, she opened her mouth to speak. All the while, Parker studied Jane who had yet to make eye contact with her. She could tell that Jane was really having a hard time with what Maura had just done.

"You know that I love you?" Jane asked, still looking down, small droplets smearing the ink in which she had written her vows. Parker smiled responding,

"Of course"

Jane looked over at her family then back to her vows. She couldn't look up at Parker because then she might see the hesitation in her eyes.

"When you came into my life, I was broken... I don't give my heart to many and the one person I trusted with it…she shattered it. So to say I wasn't ready for you coming into my life is an understatement. Parker, Your beauty, heart, and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be and I want to thank you for reminding me how great it feels to be in love… I promise you that I shall hold you and cherish you and give you my heart, that I shall support you and care for you. Faithfully, I shall always stand steadfast at your side with your hand in mine, regardless of what life would bring to us. I take you now as my wife, and I shall remain so for the rest of my life."

Jane had finally looked up at her and Parker knew that Jane had avoided making eye contact with her because they gave away exactly how she was feeling. It made her question whether or not she turned Maura away because she was in love with Parker or because she didn't want to hurt her? Nevertheless, despite her question, she began to read her own vows.

"Jane, when we met I was just finding my way again. After my wife passed and I truly believed I would never find love again, you came into my life and made me feel things I've never felt before. Amanda dying broke my heart but the thought of you not being in my life would kill me. I love you Jane." She paused, wiping at her eyes.

She looked up at Jane who smiled sadly at her before looking back down at their joined hands. She knew what she had to do. Closing the piece of paper, she reached out, placing a hand under Jane's chin, raising her head so Jane was looking at her.

"Many people spend their lives searching for their soul mate, their one true love. Some people are lucky to find the person they can truly call the better half of themselves, while others spend the rest of their lives searching and never finding. You found yours Jane… and although I want it to be, it isn't me."

Jane looked at her as well as everyone else in the church with a look of surprise.

She laughed lightly as tears fell from her eyes. She smiled at Jane, placing a hand on her cheek.

"No matter how much I want to say I do, god I want to be your wife so much, but I know it's not me who's in your heart, it's Maura."

"But I do love you." Jane whispered.

"But you love Maura more…Jane… I love you so much and although it's killing me to do so, I have to let you go and be with the one you really want." She let out a large breath which she wasn't aware she'd been holding.

Jane shook her head in disbelief of what Parker had just said.

"You don't have to do this." She whispered. Parker just smiled at her. She leaned over placing a gentle kiss on Jane's lips knowing it would be the last time. Jane closed her eyes as Parker kissed her.

"Thank you." She whispered. She picked up the bottom of her dress, as she stepped off the altar. She looked back at Parker once more who smiled at her before she looked finally away succumbing to her emotions. Jane smiled at her once more before running down the aisle and out the church.

There was nothing stopping her now, no excuse, no one holding her back, she could finally have Maura…if she could find her.

* * *

_**So I finished my work early and decided to write this chapter. There are only two chapters left after this and an epilogue. I really hope you guys liked this and reviews are always welcomed. Also, I wasn't really sure about the order of wedding procedures but I did my best for this story so I hope it was somewhat realistic. Also, I originally planned to have Jane leave Parker at the altar but I felt that Jane wouldn't purposely hurt Parker by leaving so I wrote this ending instead with Parker telling her to go. What do you guys think? Would you have preferred Jane running away on her own? **_


	16. Reunion

Through blurry eyes, Maura threw several clothes into the suitcase that sat opened on her bed. She wanted to get out of Italy as quickly as possible and as far away from Jane even quicker.

She was really hoping that Jane would have said she loved her too and now thinking about the fact that she didn't made Maura cry even harder.

Walking over to her closet and she pulled the last dress off its hanger. She held it in her arm, bringing it to her chest as she cried into the fabric. It was the same dress she had worn the night she and Jane had made love. She could still smell the scent of Jane on it.

There was no way she could take the dress with her, it had too many memories. She sadly hung the dress back up in the closet before walking over to the mirror. She frowned as she pulled the diamond clip from her, sighing as her hair fell about her shoulders.

'_God, why does this hurt so badly'_ she angrily threw the diamond clip at the wall crying out in pain. She's never wanted anyone as badly as she wanted Jane and it hurt physically now that she couldn't have her.

She zipped up the suitcase at the sound of knocking at her door. Thinking it was her driver ready to take her to the airport she walked over to the door. However, the voice on the other side stopped her.

"Maura, it's me. Please open the door."

It was Jane. Maura was confused as to why she was at her door and not in the church with her wife. She looked at the door knob, a fresh set of tears forming in her eyes, wanting to open the door and let her in. Then she remembered it was Jane who had hurt her and broke her heart in front of all their friends and family. As much as she loved Jane she couldn't forgive her for the pain she was feeling.

"No, just go away Jane." She sobbed, walking over to the suitcase and picking up off the bed.

"Maura, please!" she pleaded. The need in her voice pained Maura to hear. She dropped her suitcase and quietly approached the door, placing a hand on it. Unbeknownst to her, Jane had done the same thing. Their hands were now parallel with the door being the only barrier between them.

Jane was growing more and more anxious from Maura's silence. She felt stupid standing in the hotel hallway in a wedding dress talking to a door but she would do anything to get Maura to open the door.

"Maura, I know I hurt you today by not telling you the truth but I was scared, ok. I was scared of hurting Parker and most of all I was scared of being hurt again. Maura, when I'm with you and when I'm loving you I give you my everything, I put my heart in your hands and although I hate being so vulnerable with you, I can't help it. If I left the church with you today my heart would be back in your hands to do with it what you please and that scared me…"

She waited silently for Maura to speak and was disappointed when she didn't get a response. She pressed her ear to the door and listened quietly. She could hear Maura crying on the other side of the door and the thought of Maura hurting because of her made her start to tear up. She slid down the door, exhausted after everything that had happened. She turned towards the door and deeply exhaled; doing the only thing she could think of: she spoke from her heart.

"You once told me that you are afraid of growing old. You told me then that to grow old means to be alone, and it frightens you. But I want you to grow old. I want you to grow old with me. I want to watch the wrinkles form on your face and every strand of your hair turn white, because to me you would be the most beautiful, even when you are all wrinkled and gray. You do not have to fear being alone, because I'll be with you. Grow old with me. I promise to love you faithfully, to care for you and to cherish you, to provide you with support and everything that you need, to respect and honor you. All my days left to me, I vow to spend them all loving you." Jane wiped at her eyes, she said all she could, and whatever happened now all depended on Maura.

Maura's eyes widened as she listened to Jane speak; she had just recited the vows Maura had made to her on their wedding day. How did Jane remember them after all of the years that have passed since Maura had recited them in that small church back in Boston? As if reading her mind, Jane whispered,

"I remember everything about that day."

Maura slowly stood up from where she sat on the floor and opened the door, there was Jane standing there in front of her, eyes red and puffy but looking more beautiful than ever.

"I love you." Jane said breathlessly. She took the few steps that were between them and stood so close to Maura that could feel the heat coming from her body. She pulled Maura to her, their eyes locking. Maura's mouth crushed hers and without thinking of their past hurt, their tongues collided with each other. She allowed Jane to pick her up into her arms, neither of them breaking the kiss, not wanting to deny themselves the other any longer. She wrapped her legs possessively around Jane's waist as she lifted her head to look up into Jane's face and smiled softly at her.

"I love you." She whispered bring a smile to Jane's face who in turn dipped her head slowly and kissed Maura; her lips brushed lightly against those of the woman in her arms at first then became more urgent. Maura's hands were instantly in Jane's hair, tangling themselves. Both their kisses were feverish and hungry.

Maura reached around Jane, finding the zipper of her dress, sliding it down painfully slow. She kept her eyes on Jane's as she inched the zipper down and when she reached the bottom, Jane allowed her dress to fall down her body. She stepped out of it, leaving it behind as she carried Maura over to the bed. Placing her gently on the bed, she watched Maura reach down hooking her fingers under her shirt before pulling it over her head. As she threw the shirt carelessly to the side she looked up at Jane, never feeling more exposed than she did at that moment. However, she had to remember this was Jane, the woman whom she had entrusted her life with at one point in time. Whether or not that trust was still there, she didn't know but she desperately wanted to find out. There wasn't any alcohol to explain away the act they were about to engage in, only their love for one another.

Jane laid on top of her, straddling her. Her hands clamped down on Maura's wrists and pressed her back into the bed. Jane looked up at Maura staring into her eyes, seeing the woman she fell in love with years before.

"I've missed you so much." Jane whispered.

She leaned down, their lips connecting once again. It was a slow, languid kiss. A kiss filled with promise of things yet to transpire between them.

The kiss was soft and gentle yet intense. She reached down and laced her hands with Maura's, moaning into the kiss. She parted her lips with the doctor to begin to suck on her neck, it would sure leave a mark for the world to see but Jane didn't care. She began to kiss her way down Maura's body stopping at her stomach and smiling before placing a light kiss on it reveling in how much she missed the feel of Maura's skin. She placed a hand on either side of Maura's waist, as she pulled down her jeans leaving Maura in only her underwear. Slowly sliding the lace down Maura's things, never once breaking eye contact, she inhaled Maura's intoxicating scent before lowering her face to between Maura's legs.

Maura couldn't help the heavy shudder that passed through her body the moment Jane's tongue made contact with her awaiting arousal. The feel of Jane's tongue blanketed her in a nostalgia she didn't feel the night Jane was drunk. Maybe it was because Jane wasn't sober and fully aware of what she was doing. Soon enough, Maura could feel the pressure building up in the pit of her stomach and it took ever fiber of her being to stop Jane. She quickly reached down for Jane pulling her up, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss. She could taste herself on Jane's lips and it aroused her even more.

"I want us to do this together." She whispered reaching down, her hands finding their way into Jane's underwear. The moment she entered Jane she watched her eyes roll back in pleasure as she moaned softly. Jane's hands made their way back down between Maura's thighs. Both women trusted into each other, their eyes locked on the other as they each watched as the other reached their peak.

As the tempo of Jane's thrust increased Maura's left hand moved over Jane's warmed skin. She could feel the buildup of something special and she lifted her hips to claim it. It was there, just within reach.

"I love you." Jane screamed out as her orgasm ripped through her body which caused Maura to follow shortly after. Neither woman moved for a moment, enjoying the intimacy flowing between them.

Suddenly, Jane collapsed on top of Maura weighed down by the influx of emotion that blanketed her. Maura reached up, wiping away a bit of hair matted to Jane's forehead from sweat.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asked. Jane shook her head no, leaning down to kiss her once again.

"No, it was nothing you did it's just that …I almost let you get away."

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck pulling her closer while the detective cried in the crook of her neck.

"Never again. All my days left to me, I vow to spend them all loving you" she recited into Jane's ear.

"Forever?" came Jane's muffled sob. Jane looked up at her through watery eyes,

Maura smiled,

"Forever."

* * *

_**So, only one more chapter after this and an epilogue. I didn't expect this chapter to take me so long but I'm not really good with sexual scenes and that's what took the most time. I was going to leave it out but I felt this chapter needed it, so I took my time and tried to write it. I hope it isn't that bad and that you guys like it. Thanks for reading this chapter and reviews are always welcome. Part two of this will be up very soon, like by tonight.**__**  
**_


	17. Two Halves of the Same Heart

Maura awoke the next morning afraid to open her eyes, scared that Jane wouldn't be there and that everything she remembered happening the night before was all a lie. However, knowing she would have to get up eventually, she opened her eyes. She couldn't help the smile she gained at seeing the detective sleeping peacefully next to her. She looked over at the clock on the side table, it read 6 am. She knew it would be some time before Jane awoke but she wasn't complaining. She wanted to take the time to just watch Jane and revel in the memories of the night before.

She could hear the gentle murmur of Jane's breath snuffling against the pillow, stifled by the hair that had fallen over her face. She could just make out Jane's lips, peeping out from beneath the cloud of raven curls; a stark contrast against the whiteness of the pillow.

The soft light of dawn peered in through the windows casting a dim glow across the room casting shadows over the slender muscles of Jane's back as she lay there, peaceful, next to her.

She watched Jane sleep peacefully until she began to stir a few hours later.

"Good morning." She whispered her voice still hoarse from sleep.

"Good morning." Maura replied wanting nothing more than to kiss Jane but she stopped herself not knowing where they stood after last night. Although Jane had said she loved her she needed to know for sure because she learned a long time ago that "I love you's" meant nothing when they were said during sex.

As much as she didn't want to, she had to ask, "Jane, did you mean what you said last night?"

Jane turned onto her side to face Maura.

"Yeah, I did…I don't know if you objecting or Parker telling me to go made me realize it or if I knew all along."

"Knew what?"

"That I loved you." She placed her hand gently on Maura's cheek as she leaned in to place a soft kiss on Maura's lips. They allowed a comfortable silence to settle between them, enjoying each other's company. Maura lay perched on one arm watching Jane, who laid on her back staring up at the ceiling, a look of content on her face. However Maura was far from content, instead guilt tugged at her heart. After everything that happened she knew they needed to start fresh with no secrets between them.

"Jane, I have to tell you something. It's about the night I took you out to celebrate your wedding."

Jane sighed, not turning to face her. "I know"

"You know? But how?" Maura was curious to know how Jane could have possibly known what happened that night. She showed no signs of remembrance and even was genuinely relieved when Maura lied about what they had done.

"I awoke in the middle of the night. We were both naked…I thought it was a dream and went back to sleep but by your behavior when I asked about it told me otherwise. I didn't have to be a detective to conclude we had sex." She explained finally turning towards Maura with a look of amusement.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Maura stammered, absolutely confused by everything Jane had told her and her nonchalant attitude about everything.

Jane shifted, pulling the sheet up to cover more of her body.

"I…I didn't want it to be true...Parker and I were happy and we were going to get married. To acknowledge my feelings for you would mean admitting I wasn't as happy as I thought."

Maura closed her eyes processing everything Jane said.

"I have just one question." Jane continued. Maura opened her eyes,

"Why did you lie?" she asked catching Maura off guard. Maura knew why she had done it but she wasn't quite sure if she could put it into words.

"I don't know. I just felt that I ruined my chance with you and that I had no right to ruin your chance at happiness with Parker by putting you in the position to make that choice." Before Jane could ask her to elaborate she continued.

"The choice of hurting Parker with the truth or sparing her heartbreak with a lie…the same choice I made our wedding day." she clarified sadly. She watched Jane get out of bed, walking over to Maura's suit case and pulling out a t shirt to pull over her body.

Maura watched silently as Jane fished through the suitcase once again pulling out another t shirt and throwing it to her. She thanked her as she pulled the t shirt over her head and onto her body. She found it quite funny it was a t shirt that Jane had given her after one of their countless sleepovers.

"Maura?" Jane called softly from where she stood in the far corner of the room.

"Yes?"

"I can't go into this again without knowing everything…Why did you cheat on me?" she asked looking at Maura with a pained expression.

Maura sat up straighter on the bed; she had dreaded this question. She had expected Jane to ask the question but she wasn't sure if she was ready for the answer Maura was going to give. But like Jane said, they couldn't start another relationship with any secrets between them.

As she looked down at her hands she didn't even realize that she had begun to cry. She only noticed it the moment she felt the wetness of her tears as the spilled onto her hands.

"I was raped." She whispered.

"You were what?"

"Tommy drugged me the night before our wedding. He waited until I passed out and he…he raped me." Jane was immediately on the bed with her again, her arms wrapped around her in comforting embrace.

Maura had been holding on for her own sanity but feeling Jane's strong arms around she knew she didn't have to hold it in any longer. Jane could be strong for the both of them. After hey tear ducts rans dry she sighed, finally lifting her head to give a tentative smile to the woman she loved. Jane smiled back but Maura could see tears standing in her eyes.

"How long did you know?"Jane asked as she stood up and began pacing back and forth

"How long did I know definitely? A few days. How long did I suspect it? A couple of months. But whenever I even brought up that night he would just get so angry and—"she explained

"Has he ever hit you? Because if he has I'll fucking kill him." She spewed in anger.

Seeing Maura nod she felt this incredible rage incited in her and she soon found herself punching a hole in the wall. She didn't care about her badge at the moment, she wanted to kill Tommy. She continued to punch the wall until her knuckles were a bloody mess and her hand throbbed as it oozed blood. She held her bloody hand as she backed up against the wall and slid down it, breaking down into tears.

Maura silently approached her with a towel, wrapping it gently around Jane's hand. She sat next to Jane with an arm around her in comfort while she cried into her hands.

"It's all my fault." She sobbed.

"How could you ever think what he did to me was your fault?"

"Because I didn't protect you... I saw you every day and I didn't know that Tommy was abusing you. I am supposed to be your friend. I couldn't even tell you were hurting."

Maura placed her hand under Jane's chin, turning her head so that she was looking at her.

"Jane, it's not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for the sins of your brother. He dug his own grave and now he has to lie in it."

"Oh he'll be in a grave alright." Jane said bitterly.

Although Maura laughed, something in her told her that Jane wouldn't wait to get legal justice for her.

"Jane?" she asked watching Jane examine the damage of her hand.

"Yeah?"

"Just don't do anything that would jeopardize your livelihood. He's not worth it." She pleaded, placing a hand on Jane's arm. Jane turned towards her, placing a hand on her cheek as she stared at her seriously.

"Maur, I could forgive him for ruining my marriage but I will not forgive him for violating you." She retorted.

"You are my soul mate, we each are halves of the same heart so when someone hurts you they hurt me. I don't want the badge if it means protecting you." She leaned in to give Maura a kiss of reassurance but Maura wanted more. She loved this woman and she could tell that Jane loved her too. They had been through so much and she longed for many years to come. Her fingers swept into her hair and pulled Jane to her as they engage in a heated kiss. When they separated they were both breathless. Allowing their foreheads to touch, they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I love you" Jane whispered.

Maura beamed, responding

"I love you, too."

Jane shifted her position on the floor to a more comfortable one, before wrapping an arm around Maura. She kissed her forehead softly and Maura nuzzled into Jane's neck allowing the warmth of the other woman to envelope her.

"You know checkout is at 9 and it's already 7." She said after sometime of the two sitting enjoying each other's presence.

"But I don't want to leave; can we just stay here and be in love forever?" Jane pouted.

"We can still be in love just not on the floor of a hotel room." Maura retorted. Jane slowly stood, extending a hand out to Maura helping her off the floor.

"Well I guess you're already packed." She pointed out looking at the discarded suitcase on the floor.

"Yeah, but we still have to pack your stuff." Maura said taking a seat on the bed.

"Nah, I only bought my wedding dress, a couple of jeans and t shirts, a few days worth of underwear and my tooth brush. All stuff Ma can pack for me and give to me back in Boston."

Maura shook her head, "I'm not going back to Boston."

"Why not?"

"Jane, everyone turned their backs on me when I needed them the most, Angela, Korsak, Frankie…I can't go back there. The only reason I stayed was because of you and William. Although I accepted Frankie's apology I don't think I could ever forget how they treated me." She explained. Jane stood by the closet door in silence as she thought about everything Maura had just told her. After a few minutes she shrugged her shoulders,

"Alright, we won't go back."

Maura looked over at her confused,

"But I thought you said you never wanted to leave Boston."

Jane chuckled at her as she walked over to the bed.

"No, I said I didn't want to leave _you_ in Boston. We can go anywhere you like. As long as I have my badge, my son and you, I'll be happy." Maura leaned over and kissed Jane in elation, happy that she was willing to move with her. However, at the mention of William, Maura began to think of the infant and how all of this will affect him.

"This will be very hard on him; he and Parker were very close."

"Yeah, I know. She loved him just as much… but I think we ended it on good terms so if she wants to visit him I won't stop her. "She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the crown of blonde hair in front of her.

"And now breakfast, I'm starved."

Maura shook her head smiling as she watched Jane jump up off the bed and pick up the room service menus off the table. Jane looked at her confused,

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just I love you so much." She smiled. Jane looked at her, clearly touched by Maura's words.

"I love you too, but I'm starving so come over here and choose what you want on your waffles."

End.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading and supporting me and my story. You guys have no idea how much it meant to me to read your reviews and find out that you all liked my writing and my story. An epilogue will be up soon. Reviews are always welcome and once again thanks for reading.**_


	18. Epilogue

Epilogue

5 years later.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jane asked as she put the car in park.

"Yes. He wrote me a letter asking to see me." She explained, pulling her seat belt from around her.

"Yeah, but why after five years?"

"I don't know why he waited so long but we're here so I might as well go inside."

"Alright, be careful and if you need me, just call and I'll be there, ok?" Jane asked leaning over to kiss Maura. The two separated at the sound of laughter from the back seat.

"What's so funny, Will?"

"You guys were kissing." He laughed, bashfully hiding behind the coloring book in his lap. Jane turned around to look at her son in the back seat, sticking her tongue out at him.

"You want me to kiss you too and get some on my girl germs on you?" she asked playfully. William shook his head, still hiding behind his book. Jane turned back to Maura,

"Don't forget we have to be at Parker's house by 12 for her baby shower. You know how that wife of hers is about punctuality. '_If you're early you're on time and if you're on time you're late.'" _

Maura looked down at her watch laughing at Jane's impersonation of Parker's wife, Sydney.

"Alright, I shouldn't be long." Maura said stepping out of the car.

As she walked to the building she didn't know what to expect and was quite nervous. After all these years that had passed she received a letter from Tommy requesting she come visit him and of course Jane forbid her from going. However, Maura explained to her that she needed to go for closure and after a few more days of convincing, Jane acquiesced, but only if she went with her.

Once inside she was escorted down the hall to a small room. She took a seat at the table and waited for Tommy to come out.

She looked up at the sound of the gate opening and waited. However, instead of see the cocky, arrogant Rizzoli she was used to come through the gate there was a thin shell of a man sitting in a wheel chair, being rolled out by an accompanying guard.

"Inmate 457593, you have 10 minutes." Was announced over the intercom. The guard stood in the corner of the room with his hand on his holster near his gun. She was speechless as she looked at Tommy on the other side of the glass and couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He was tattered with scars, some heeled and some not and along his face lay a large scar running from his right eyebrow to his lower jaw. Tommy picked up the phone and waited for her to do the same.

"Hey, Maura."

"Hello Tommy." She stammered still in shock by his appearance. She couldn't imagine that all of that happened to him while in prison.

"How have you been holding up?"

"I'm alright I guess. Most people don't want to mess with the guy whose sister and brother are both cops…How's Will?"

"It's great actually. He starts the second grade in a couple of weeks and he's really excited. He's even started playing baseball. No one's been able to catch him on the field yet."

"My man! I knew he was going to be fast the moment he started walking."

"I don't want to be rude but what happened to your face?" she asked immediately regretting it seeing how angry he got at her question.

"Why don't you ask my fucking sister? I get cornered in an alley by like 3 or four people. I didn't see her face but I know it was her. Her and that fucker Frankie…they did this to me. And to add icing to the fucking cake, I get picked up by two cops the next morning and charged with rape and possessing a control substance!" He whispered angrily into the phone so not to alarm the guards with his anger.

"I—I'm sorry." She stuttered. She had no idea that Jane had done such a thing to him. She expected that Jane would hurt in some way but to the severity of putting him a wheelchair.

"I have complete paralysis in the lower half of my body. I have to live with this for the rest of my life and all you can say is sorry! …As a matter of fact, I tried to call you that night to come get me from the fucking alley. Why weren't you answering my calls?" he yelled into the phone. Maura had to pull it away from her ear at the loud voice coming through it. She had no clue how the conversation had turned south but she refused to allow him to yell at her when she was doing him the courtesy of visiting him.

_Tommy stumbled out of the back door of the Dirty Robber clutching a bottle of Jack in his hands. Bringing the bottle to his lips, he cringed at the burn of the liquid as it ran down his throat. _

"_There's the fucker." Came a voice behind him and before he could fully turn around he felt the butt of a gun hit him the face causing him to fall down to the concrete below him. _

"_Did you kill him?"_

"_This bastard raped Maura, he'll be lucky if I don't kill him." Someone yelled above him. It was familiar but he was too delirious to place the voice with a face. The same person used the heel of their boot to kick him repeatedly in the ribs and abdomen, knocking all of the air out of him. Not giving him a chance to re-cooperate, the person above him grabbed the nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels out of his hand and smashed it over Tommy's head._

"_Fuck" he whispered in pain. He tried to get back to his feet only to be pulled up by someone much bigger than person that kicked him. _

"_Here, you hold him up." Said the second voice, much deeper than the first. He tried to run away but was held in place by a pair of muscular arms holding him in a full nelson. The only thing he could do was stand there and take the pain as someone delivered punches to his abdomen repeatedly, causing him to vomit all of the alcohol he had ingested that night. _

"_Aw man, he vomited."_

"_Well drop the fucker; I'll take care of him."_

_As his arms were let go he was too weak to sustain himself so he crumbled to the ground falling onto the shattered glass below him. Stepping in front of Tommy, the person that he now realized was a woman pulled him up to his feet and dragged Tommy's head back, slamming the smaller man's skull into the wall. There was the sickening sound of bone crunching against a solid mass that echoed throughout the alley. _

_Again, she repeated the action, not caring as Tommy coughed and hung limply against her, hair beginning to break as he tried to lean against the wall. Once more his head was slammed against the wall and she let him go, watching as Tommy rocked back and forth before crumpling to the floor, curling into the fetal position as he did. The drunken man coughed and choked, spitting up blood as she aimed a merciless foot into his stomach again._

_"How fucking could you?!" she bawled over and over. "She was my wife, you fucker! How could you rape my wife?"_

_At that moment, she didn't care if Tommy lived or died, his body feeling cold and dead._

_Again and again, she lashed out, feet thudding into Tommy's barely moving body. No longer did the young man try to escape, instead taking each kick to his ribs with just the tiniest of mewls. Blood was pooling beside his head, from his nose and mouth and from the nasty looking lump on his forehead. Each breath Tommy took was shuddering and rattling, coupled with a tiny cry of pain. He didn't remember passing out but he awoke some time later to the sound of voices above him and he was in severe pain._

"_I shouldn't have called you." The mystery woman said._

"_Although I didn't raise her she's still my daughter." A second, newer voice, answered. Tommy watched the woman walk away and out of the alley leaving him with the second mystery person. He tried to crawl away but his legs didn't want to cooperate. Frustrated, he pounded his fist into his legs to try and bring circulation to them but they were still numb. He called out for help but his words were halted by a hand coming up to cover his mouth. The mystery man walked over to him pulling out a knife causing Tommy's eyes to widen at the glare of the knife from the moonlight._

"_No one messes with my family." He heard the mystery person say before he passed out once again._

"Maura, why didn't you love me? I went through a lot so that we could be together. "

"I tried to love you as much as you loved me. I held on, and I stayed in it because I thought I deserved it, I broke Jane's heart and thought I didn't deserve love again. "

"But I loved you!" he screamed not caring about the guard behind him. Maura sat silently waiting for him to calm down before responding.

"If you think that by raping me, you loved me, then you are sick and twisted and I feel sorry for you."

"Well, listen here you frigid bitch! I had to spike your drink to even get you to kiss me…You fucking lesbians are all the same. If the poor fella that's brave to walk up to one of you doesn't have a vagina you won't even open your fucking legs. Is that it Maura, I couldn't lick your pussy like my bitch of a sister?" he asked clearly trying to get under her skin. The guard walked over to Tommy threatening to cut the visit short. Maura held up a hand to the guard,

"It's ok, you don't have to do that. I'm leaving anyway. I came here to see you because I thought it would be good for you since no one else in your family bothers to visit or take your calls. However I will not sit here and allow you to blame me for everything you've done to yourself. Good bye Tommy and don't ever write to me again." She placed a hand on her stomach as she stood up from the chair. Tommy looked through the glass at her, rendered speechless at her swollen abdomen. She smiled at him, happy that her pregnancy was having that affect on him. She walked out of the room, a guard accompanying her to the front of the prison.

"First and Last name please." The guard behind the desk asked.

"Maura Isles-Rizzoli" she said as the guard handed over her purse and jewelry. She slipped her ring back onto her left hand and thanked the guard.

"How far along are you?"

"7 months." She answered happily, running a hand over her stomach.

"It's a great experience, I have 4 of my own." The guard said, walking around the desk to open the door for her.

"Well it's not my first but I'm just as excited as the first time."

"Well congratulations."

Maura thanked him and walked out of the building. She had to shield her eyes from the brightness of the sun. She smiled at Jane as she pulled up beside her reaching over to open the door.

Maura slowly sat in the passenger seat, happy to be off her feet.

"How did it go?" Jane asked, leaning over to kiss Maura.

"It went just fine. Everything will be fine." She answered looking back at William who was still coloring in a house on the page in front of him. He smiled up at her as he tried to keep his crayon out of the reach of his two year old sister, Lucy. Maura smiled at the both of her children, whispering,

"Yeah, everything will be fine."


End file.
